Musings of a cluttered mind....

Clan, Here's to 12 Years of Dancing! :)

2010-07-21T12:03:00.002+03:00

HAPPY 12^TH ANNIVERSARY BRODS & SISSES!

Long live UPLB STREET JAZZ DANCE CO.

One love. One group. One passion. One family.

To GOD be the glory!

And many many many more years to come. Let the Clan's legacy live on. Remember, dance from your heart. Give nothing else but sheer passion. PERFORM!

Much love,

TE CHIE :)

Ma. Richelle A. Abitria
SJ Batch '09
Elite Pioneer Batch '08

This just in...

2010-07-13T17:02:00.001+03:00

Best served while still hottt.

Apparently, I'm a mistress of some guy I haven't even met!!

My first reaction: HYSTERIA! The absurdity of it all made me bawl over with laughter. I mean SERIOUSLY?!?!

When you hear the whole story, it'll blow your mind too. I swear!

Now that I had time to think, I feel like I have to write this down so I won't forget. Just so, you know, for future reference or somethin'. Bear with me please; I'm still trying to stifle a giggle here. Besides, this is a good thing…me writing again. I subjected myself to some form of self-inflicted social hiatus for more than a month now. Literally and figuratively speaking. What I'm basically saying here is I have a valid excuse for this verbal diarrhea. I haven't "talked" to my closest friends; I always gave them the proverbial "I'm fine" excuse to a point that they got tired of asking... I read… an awfulfreakin lot; but haven't written a single thing. Not even a blog, well not until recently. And it's sooo not me, coz I find writing therapeutic. That's how "purplegoddes" (my alter ego) was even born in the first place. So no, no writing for me. Well, unless you consider 140-character one-liners, writing. I think not, that's why they coined the term tweeting anyways. So as I was saying… sorry I digress (writing skills shamefully unused here, people. Cut me some slack).

My dear friend, Steffi, came by the office today. As already mentioned earlier, I haven't met with my friends for the longest time. Imagine my surprise for her "surprise" visit; but I was glad to see her! After the usual pleasantries, she went on to disclose the main reason she felt compelled to see me (note: this ain't verbatim).
Steff: Chie, do you remember the rumor about you last year that Janis went gaga over?
Me: Yah? *puzzled*
Steff: You know, that one where everyone thought you were the mistress of J@#!$%@?!? Just because they didn't really know the girl, and everyone knows you!
Me: U-huh *still puzzled*
Steff: Alam mo ba that it still persists pala? And somehow the whole hospital knows about it!
Me: *dumb-founded. started cracking up. When I found my voice, all I can say was… "WHAT?!?"*
Steff & Chie: *laughing our ass off*

Again… seriously? UNTIL NOW?!?! Di maka-move on? That's one helluva run! Talk about "lasting" power. Showbiz na showbiz lang ah! ROFL Oh well, according to the grapevine, we're still selling like pancakes. Steff was just concerned because this came up whilst she was chitchatting with her "boss", who incidentally used to be the head of the Admin mafia upstairs. And boss lady was hesitant to tell Steff about it because I was her friend. Can you imagine?

The story behind the story (about a year ago, when this nasty rumor first surfaced): It was Janis' (another dear friend) Ma'asallamah party, we just finished stuffing ourselves with good food. Then in the middle of scoffing even more delectable stories, Janis remembered this incident that she witnessed wherein 2 girls where gossiping about somebody else's life. You know, the usual. She accidentally picked-up on their conversation where one was saying to the other that a prominent hospital figure was having an affair with one of the secretaries of the younger breed. Girl#1 was heard saying, "Si Rachel daw. Kilala mo ba yun?" And Girl#2 hastily blurted out without even thinking, "Aahh, si Richelle! Yung tiga-Appointments!" Odb? Ang gara! Just because our names sounded one-freakin-vowel alike. Josme!

But what made it even funnier, beside the fact that it was…uhmmm… NOT TRUE…was:
1. I don't even know the guy. I have HEARD of him; but I don't recall ever being introduced to him. I have the vaguest idea who he was or how he looked like!
2. I had a boyfriend that time. And if you knew me… if you really knew me… you can attest to how devoted I am. I am deeply loyal to a fault. Faithfulness is one virtue I can definitely live up to. Yip. This girl is a one-man woman! I'm superfriendly (that I am too), but one bad vibe from you and you're out!lol. Bottomline is, when I'm in a committed & loving relationship, I just don't have the heart to even entertain other people. That would be cheating. And I can't even get off a tiny little lie without feeling guilty about it!
3. Did I mention how preposterous this was?! wahahaha.

I wasn't really bothered about me; coz there was no way in hell that it was true. I didn't even feel the need to defend myself. It was sooooo far off base, it was ridiculous! And the only thing we could do was laugh it off (and me blogging about it now). As long as I'm good with the Lord, nothing can fluster me. His is the only opinion that counts in my tab. And I know that He'll vindicate me from this… somehow.

So yah, another Tuesday has ended. I'm done for the day but I still can't stop laughing. Good thing it's payday. Can't wait to get my claws on that gorgeous gladiator shoes I saw in Bershka!

PLANNING AHEAD

2010-07-11T17:00:00.001+03:00

If I were asked what my life-changing book is (aside from the Holy Bible, of course), I would have to say "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. And if there's such a thing as a life-changing email (amongst all the piles and piles of forwarded stuff I'm receiving each day), I think this would be it. Whilst rummaging through my congested archive, I was glad I managed to save this. Somebody dear forwarded this to me during a time when all my plans shattered before my very eyes; crumbling piece by heart-breaking piece. She may have not known it then... but this brought me the epiphany I desperately needed. It forced me redirect my focus on the ONE true thing, the ONE that really matters in life, the ONE whose love for me is constant & never-changing... then, now & til the end of time. My Lord. My Savior. Jesus Christ.

And it lead me to my life-verse then, Genesis 50:20:
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
This spoke to me in immeasurable ways. It taught me forgiveness... to relinquish the anger that was consuming me. Out of it, I got peace. It taught me humility... to accept the fact that I was at the Lord's mercy and not my own. I have done atrocious things in my past and have hurt a handful of people just to get my way. I have no business demanding "why things went south and not according to my plan". With this I got greater understanding. And finally, it taught me complete and utter dependence on God... that I would rather submit my life to God's will and God's plan rather than walk through life... limp, deaf and blind. As a result, I got everything else I needed (walang ng kulang). The Lord made me whole again.

Before I take my leave, I one more thing to say... May YOU live a life full of blessings and abundance, by God's unfailing grace... this I pray in Jesus' mighty name.

******************************************************************
(Author Unknown)

The best gift anyone can give me this new year is a planner.
I like planners because I am a planner.
I like thinking ahead.
I like being prepared.
I get a high from being on top of things.

But some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn't always turn out as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever. You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world

You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered.
Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.
But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours. Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes God sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans but understand that we live by God's grace.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

Shoe-therapy heals all wounds

2010-06-26T09:50:00.000+03:00

For the risk of sounding too imeldific, these were really good buys. Pinky swear. Besides they were calling my name, I'd be a fool not to buy them. :) And I always subscribed to the doctrine that shoe-therapy HEALS all ILLS. It really does. You should try it sometimes. Lol

On Winning, Losing & Bets

2010-06-26T09:32:00.001+03:00

The LA Lakers just claimed their nth franchise victory, Phil Jackson's 11th ring & Kobe Bryant's 2nd Finals MVP. I hope I got my stats right. Today was the exhilirating Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals between the Greens & the Purples (that's what I monickered them anyways) but known to the world as the Boston Celtics & the LA Lakers.

Bets have definitely been placed. Celtics fans are begrudgingly rougin' & coughin' up greens to pay-up whilst the Lakers fans are getting richer by the minute. But I'm pretty sure that not all bets placed were about money. I made some of them myself. So here's what I won:

I am not going out on a blind date
I have an all-around driver when I go home in September
me.

Let me explain that last bit. A few days before Game 1 (if my memory serves me right), I made this bet. All or nothing. And what was at stake? Drumrolls please, ME! Lol. It was a stupid thing to do & we both laughed it off. Things happened just as God has planned & I surrendered…

But if we ever agreed on that bet, I wonder… Did anyone of us really win? Or did we both lose? Coz from where I'm standing, I don't feel like a winner.

They say that things you lose have a way of coming back to you in the end. But what if it was never yours to lose in the first place? Life…it sucks sometimes. Reality bites.

So, the Lakers still reigned supreme and Kobe hailed the king!!! Time to cuff up Celtics fans. And Purple peeps (yeap, I have mah peeps), we have bragging rights all year long. Woooot! Til next season.

*picture was taken from Tweeter*

Originally posted in: http://purplegoddess30.wordpress.com/

I AM FINE

2010-06-26T09:17:00.000+03:00

I AM FINE

They say that the 3 most powerful words are:

LOVE

YOU.

The 3 hardest words to say are:

SORRY.

And the 3 most destructive words are:

FINE.

In retrospect, 'Tis true. We have a habit of dishing out servings of "I'm fine" as a staple answer to questions ranging from a quick nod & a casual "Hello. How are you?"to probing inquisitions that starts with "Hey. Are you OK?" followed by a not-so-subtle-look of suspicion.

The degree of being just fine varies from "honest-to-goodness" fine to "who-are-you-kidding" fine. Yip, believe it or not, there's a whole spectrum of "fine-ness". IKR. I pick up things like this on my emotional radar. LOL). :p

So… well and good if you really are; too bad if you're obviously not and you're just trying on sarcasm for kicks. But you see, it's the grey areas that can get pre-tty scary sometimes. Because when you try to project a strong facade when in fact, you're breaking inside… when you choose to live in a world of make believe and pretend that everybody's fine when they're not… and when you'd rather be a coward than own up to your fears… You, my friend, are headed for T-R-O-U-B-L-E faster than you can say "nah!".

There are a million and one reasons why we hide behind the curtain of the proverbial "I'm fine" excuse; some of them immeasurably valid. But sometimes acknowledging that we are not, can mean freedom. Truth be told, we are not perfect – we fumble, we fall, we make a mess of our lives and we are not ALWAYS fine. Not all the time. But guess what? It's OK. That doesn't make us a bad person, it only makes us human.

There's no quick fix, short-cut or on-the-spot solution to this either. It's better to humbly face the truth about ourselves… the truth will set us free but it often makes us miserable first. Only when God shine's the light of His truth on our faults, failures and hang-ups can we begin working on them. So, be patient with yourself and be patient with God.

"Our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him." (Ephesians 4-13)

So here's what I have to say if you ask how I am:

Thank you for asking. I'm fine.. though not all the time.
PBPGINFWMY.

(Please be patient, God is not finished with me YET!)

Men are Like...

2010-05-18T13:11:00.001+03:00

This right here... made my day! I didn't know similes could be hilarious. :)

1. Men are like
Laxatives
They irritate the crap out of you.

2
Men are like.
Bananas
The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like
Weather
Nothing can be done to change
them.

4.
Men are like
Blenders
You need One, but you're not quite sure why..

5.
Men are like
Chocolate Bars
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right
for your hips.

6. Men are like
Commercials
You can't believe a word they say.

7.
Men are like
Department Stores
Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8.
Men are like
Government Bonds
.... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9.
Men are like
Mascara
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10.
Men are like
Popcorn
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11.
Men are like
Snowstorms
You never know when they're coming, how many
inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12.
Men are like
Lava Lamps
Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13..
Men are like
Parking Spots
All the good ones are taken, the rest are
handicapped.

COMPLICATED

2010-04-28T15:41:00.003+03:00

Guy & Girl, as new-found friends, spend the remainder of the night together after a gruelling exam under a tree, sipping wine & enjoying each other's company. When suddenly they...

...got caught up in the moment...
...got lost in each other's eyes...
...felt their bodies being pulled together like magnets...

...so they leaned closer and closer together...
...and when they were just about to kiss...
...an inch away from each other...
...Girl pulls away...
...realization dawns on the guy...
...so he picks himself up, shrugs everything off...
...and when he turns to leave...

...casually asks...

Guy: How can a girl spend the whole night with a guy and not tell him that she has a boyfriend?

<<<pause>>>>>

Girl: Good thing, that's not part of the test.

>>>Greek! Definitely hooked.

Convention of Those Wounded in Love

2009-12-15T15:10:00.001+03:00

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying "all is fair in love and war" is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid's bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as "unrequited love". Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: "this person is worth fighting for".

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, VENGEANCE is expressly FORBIDDEN. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called PARDON should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one's decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as "breaking up", the only medicine capable of having an effect is called TIME. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: "I have lived". Because they haven't.

: by Paulo Coelho

An Affair to UN-Remember

2009-11-10T16:12:00.001+03:00

Every affair has its own unique twist. It begins with a minor flirtation. Next comes rationalization. It is soon followed by a feeling of being deprived if you see other people having something you don't. But the real clincher comes when you not only have to have something, but you have to have it NOW!

So, we sacrifice a bright future. For what? For whom? For stuff that we think will make us feel better when we're having a rough day? For things that divert our attention from our confused states? For someone that could give us the sense of belongingness whenever we feel alone? Just to realize, at the end of it all that they were stuff that we never needed in the first place…they were just people who cluttered our lives with their false pretenses. Thing is, we already know that trouble's knockin' at our door, but we still dare take a look. We tell ourselves that it's just a lil peek and no harm's gonna be done. Unknowingly, we get enticed…we get drawn…we are beguiled by the sweet, empty promises. Then we begin to rationalize that maybe…just maybe… it'll be good for you. And finally, we find ourselves entangled in the chaotic, acrimonious web that we ourselves have spun…

…hopefully, not a second too late.

So whenever I feel weary and my hope begins to wane, I hold on to these promises:

· Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing & perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

· Forgetting what is behind & straining toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13)

· Let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision – you'll see it yet. (Philippians 3:15)

· Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)

-30-

***wrote this eons ago. Just didn't get the chance to publish it.

Is Your Love Genuine Or Fake?

2009-11-03T09:45:00.002+03:00

When the magic of infatuation fades, are you ready to make that life-changing decision to genuinely LOVE your partner? For richer or for poorer? For better or for worse? Great artik by Bo Sanchez.

* * * * *

"Buy Rolex. $20 only."
A moustached guy offered it to me while walking in a busy street.
Wow. Didn't Rolex watches sell at $5000 each?
Because he thought I was interested, the man opened his jacket and displayed other designer watches—such as Patek Phillip, Cartier, and Omega. "Choose what you want. $20 only each."
That was shocking. I knew some high-end Patek watches cost $200,000. So how in the world could this man be selling them for $20?
Too bad for the watch guy, I don't use watches. Stopped using them 25 years ago. To know the time, I look at the sun. On a cloudy day, I look at someone else's watch.
But my buddy bought a $20 Rolex. It was a steal, he said.
Hey, it looked like a Rolex. It worked like a Rolex. It felt like a Rolex. But it wasn't a Rolex.
Five months later, my friend was sad because his watch broke down. I told him, "What did you expect?"
Let me use this to explain why we have problems in our relationships.

How To Do The Great Switcheroo

Why do so many marriages have problems today?
Because many couples built their marriage on a pirated version of Love, not Love.
The pirated version of Love is Infatuation.
There was a time when I thought Infatuation was only for pimple-faced teenyboppers. Not true. Old fogies like myself aren't exempted.
Not that Infatuation is a bad thing. It's totally normal. Infatuation only becomes a bad thing if a person thinks it was Love.
I repeat: Infatuation is like a pirated copy of Love.

Foolish people think the pirated copy is real. When it breaks down, they panic or get depressed. They realize it's fake. And their whole world crumbles.
Wise people know Infatuation is a pirated copy. They enjoy it while it lasts, but they know it was brittle and wouldn't last. So secretly, they also bought the genuine article. (Note:Pirated versions are given; Real versions are bought. I'll explain later.) So when the pirated version breaks down, the wise person does the great switcheroo. He pulls out the real thing.
Today, I'll tell you how to spot the genuine from the fake.
I'll describe the real deal—and how it's the only thing that can save your marriage. But not only your marriage, but every other relationship you have.
Oh yes, so many people have relationship problems with their parents, or children, or siblings, or friends—because they don't know what Real Love is.
I'm going to explain to you that Real Love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.
Let me explain how this great switcheroo works…

"Ngooorrrk!"

"Father, we want to get married."
When the engaged couple went to the priest to schedule their wedding, their hearts were beating for each other. It was so loud, the priest could actually hear it. "Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub."
But he's seen this before. How sweet lovebirds end up almost killing each other a year after the wedding. So he warned them, "As you know, feelings of love won't last."
And the couple said, "We know Father."
But at the back of their minds, they're saying, "We know Father that feelings of love won't last for everyone else. But not for us. How can this feeling be fake when it's as strong as a roaring volcano? It is as clear as the noonday sun, as eternal as the waves of the sea, as beautiful as the stars in the night sky."
After the wedding ceremony, they have their honeymoon.
On their first night, the new husband watches his bride asleep, the moonlight streaming from the bedroom window onto her lovely face. He gazes at her long eyelashes, her pinkish cheeks, her parted lips. All of a sudden, she snores.
"Ngooorrrk."
What does he say?
"How cute."
Six months later, it's the same scene.
They're at home. The guy sees his wife asleep, with the moonlight streaming from the window onto her face. All of a sudden, she snores.
"Ngooorrrk."
What does he say?
"How gross."
What happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if he has it.
Let me give you another example.

From Gazing To Gossiping

How do you know if a couple in the restaurant are not married?
Easy.
If they're physically close, touching each other, hand to hand, eye to eye, nose to nose, bad breath to bad breath—they're not married.
Look underneath their table, and if their legs are intertwined and they're playing footsies together, they're not married.
If they don't look at anything else but each other, they're not married.
If nuclear bombs fall right beside them and they won't even notice, they're not married.
If a flash flood engulfs the entire restaurant and all the guy could say was, "Sweetheart, I love the color of your eyes as it reflects the brownish floodwater around us," you can bet your life, they're not married.
And how do you know if a couple in a restaurant are married?
Easy.
If they're seated far apart, so far a part, a six by six truck could pass in between them, they're married.
If they look bored, they're married.
If the whole night, all they do is talk about other people, they're married. The wife whispers, "Don't look at her, but the woman behind you is wearing fake eyelashes, fake jewellery, a fake Coach bag, fake anatomical parts, and a fake husband." Being dense, the man turns around and asks, "Where? Where?"
Once upon a time, they had eyes only for one another.
Now, they barely look at each other.
What has happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if they have it.

Spot The Difference

Let me now share five clear-as-daylight differences between Infatuation and Real Love:
1. Infatuation doesn't require a decision. It just happens. You see a girl and boom—your hormones kick in and you want her. You don't know why. It's her dress. It's the way her hair falls on her shoulder. It's her smile. It's the way she bites her fingernail. That's why I said that pirated versions are free. But Real Love doesn't just happen; Real Love requires a decision. That's why Scott Peck says Real Love can only start after one has "fallen out of love."

2. Infatuation, no matter what you do, lasts only for a season. You have these feelings of love swirling within you until something happens that breaks the spell. Maybe she'll open her mouth. Maybe she'll reveal her fangs. Maybe she'll pick her nose. Maybe she'll spend your money. Maybe she'll introduce you to her mother. Maybe she gains 30 pounds. It could be anything. Infatuation can last for a few days or for a couple of years. But Real Love can last forever precisely because it's a decision.

3. Infatuation is directed towards a figment of your imagination. You're not attracted to a real person. You're attracted to a projection of that person from your own imagination. Like Infatuation itself, you're in love with a fake. But Real Love is directed towards a real person. You now know her strengths and weaknesses, and have accepted it all.

4. Infatuation is a spontaneous collapse of your boundaries. You get lost and you merge with the other. You're enmeshed. You can't survive without each other. But Real Love requires strengthening of both your boundaries; You actually don't need each other, but you choose each other because you want to serve.

5. Infatuation is all about feelings. Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub. Cold palms, giddy spells, dazed looks, and feet on the clouds. But Real Love is about dirty hands. You don't have to feelanything to love. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Love is an action, not just a state. Let me repeat my message: I believe love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts. The essence of love isn't feelings but service. Scott Peck says it so well—the opposite of love isn't hatred; the opposite of love is laziness.

Your Physiology Affects Your Psychology

Here's the thing.
I've found out that only mature people can love. Only mature people can do the great switcheroo when the pirated copy fails. They just pull out the genuine article.
Why? Only mature people have love within them.
Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.
You may be asking me, "But Bo, is love dry? Isn't there room for feelings?"
Of course, there is.
Here's a secret mature people know in their hearts even if they don't know it cognitively: Your physiology affects your psychology. Your feeling follows your action.
If we keep on doing acts of love, we increase our feelings of love. The more we "dirty our hands", the more we find our "hearts beating" for the other.
To make this practical, let me share seven simple ways of dirtying your hands. They are (1) Help, (2) Prayer, (3) Presence, (4) Touch, (5) Words, (6) Gifts, and (7) Boundaries.

1. Help

Love means giving practical help.
If you're a mother, I'm sure there are days when you wake up feeling blue and you don't want to enter the kitchen. But fifteen minutes later, where are you? Cooking in the kitchen, because some little people will get hungry. You don't feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That's love.
If you're a husband, I'm sure there are days when you go home tired from work. But you see your kids. And even if all you want to do is lie down on the couch, you decide to play with them. You don't feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That's love.
If you're a child whose parents are older, I'm sure you want to help them. Sure, you've got your own problems now, but doesn't stop you from serving them. You don't feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That's love.

2. Prayer

Love means praying for your loved ones.
Perhaps your father was a horrible man. And you hate him. But you decide to pray for him.
Sooner or later, God will answer your prayer. God will change him, but He'll change you first. Your father gets blessed, but you get blessed too. Ultimately, you become a more loving person.
You pray whether you feel like it or not.
That's love.

3. Presence

Love means spending time together.
Not just being physically together, but also being emotionally together.
That could mean a father playing with his kids. Or a daughter visiting her aging parents. Or siblings going shopping together. Or friends laughing over pizza. Or a couple taking a walk.
There'll be times when you won't feel like bonding together.
But you do it anyway. That's love.

4. Touch

Love means physical affection.
One day, a couple walking to work noticed a man passionately kissing a woman. "Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"
People aren't machines. They need to be touched. Holding hands, pats on the back, shoulder rubs, hugs, and kisses nourish and heal people more than you can possibly imagine.
Again, there'll be days when you don't want to kiss or hold hands or hug. But you do it anyway. That's love.

5. Words

Love means verbal or written expressions.
When was the last time you told your husband, "Thank you for working so hard for our family"? When was the last time you told your wife, "Thank you for being a great mother to our kids"? When was the last time you told your mother, "Thanks for serving me all these years"? And when was the last time you actually said, "I love you"?
You might argue with me and say, "Bo, I don't want to be a hypocrite. When I say it, I must feel it."
Here's my question: Are you just your emotions?
Or are you much more than your emotions? Are you also your spirit, your soul, your mind, your imagination, your will?

6. Gifts

Love means giving tokens—or symbols of love.
To you, your gift may mean nothing. But to another person, a small, inexpensive gift from you could mean the world.

7. Boundaries

Love means respecting the boundaries of the other.
Love means giving space to the other and letting the other person grow on her own. Love also means letting the other face her own responsibilities.
I like it when my wife goes out with her girlfriends each week. I like it when she takes up other interests. I like it when she grows and flourishes as an individual. I like it when she tells me, "Bo, I need some alone time. I'll just go window shopping for awhile." So I pray over her, "Lord, I claim in faith that she'll be faithful to those words, that she will indeed go 'window' shopping only. Thank you, Lord, for this miracle!"

Love Is Service

I dedicate my last story to all those living away from their loved ones today—Overseas Filipino Workers, Migrants, etc.
Many years ago, I met Alice, a Filipina teacher in Brunei.
She was my host and took care of me while I was there. When I woke up early one morning, I noticed that she was on the phone. But she wasn't speaking.
She explained that it was her beautiful ritual of love to her husband. Years ago, her husband suffered a stroke and he became paralyzed. So she went to Brunei to work for the family.
And what was this ritual of love? Alice would wake up at 4 in the morning to call her husband. (This was before the days of cell phones and text messages.) But because they could not afford long distance calls, they agreed that the husband was not to answer the phone.
Instead, the husband would allow the phone to ring.
And ring.
And ring.
He would allow the love of Alice, symbolized by the ringing, to fill their house and to fill his heart.
For 8 years straight, Alice did this beautiful ritual without fail.
Until he finally passed away.
That's what love is.
Not like feelings that come and go.
Not like moods that are here today and gone tomorrow.
Love is simply done, day in and day out.
Because it's eternal.
Constant.
Faithful.
It was Mother Teresa who said, "Service is a fruit of love".
If you love, you will serve.
Go now, and like Mother Teresa, dirty your hands.
May your dreams come true,

Article written by: Bo Sanchez

Ninoy's Letter to Daughter Ballsy (1973)

2009-08-25T11:19:00.001+03:00

I have absolutely no doubt about Ninoy's achievements as a politician and as a mighty defender of our freedom. Hat's off to the old guy. But as a writer and a poet... I am now officially a fan! =) He is one cool dad, isn't he? Not to mention loving, showy, uninhibited, appreciative and affectionate.This is really really heart-warming to say the least. Father's day is still a year away but why don't we spare a moment to remember , honor and give some love back to our dear ol dads, papas & tatays (who knows?they might be needing a little cheering up right now); not forgetting, of course, our Big Man up above. And to all the dads out there, you know what to do... be more like Ninoy. Be appreciative, B-E...appreciative. =)) It won't hurt to show your kids your soft, mushy, squishy, sappy, over-sentimental self once in a while. *wink*

one up!
chie

*****************************

August 18, 1973
FortBonifacio
Makati, Rizal

Ms. Maria Elena C. Aquino
25 Times St. Quezon City

My dearest Ballsy,

I write you this letter with tears in my eyes and as if steel fingers are crushing my heart because I wanted so much to be with you as you celebrate your legal emancipation. Now that you have come of age, my love, a voice tells me that I am no longer young and suddenly, I feel old.

An old poet gave this advice very long ago "when you are sad, remember the roses will bloom in December." I want to send you bouquet of roses, big red roses from my dreamland garden. Unfortunately for the present, my roses are not in bloom, in fact they have dropped all their petals and only the thorns are left to keep me company. I do think it is fitting to send you a thicket of thorns on this memorable day!

I am very proud of you because you have inherited all the best traits of your mother. You are sensible, responsible, even-tempered and sincere with the least pretenses and affection which vehemently detest in a woman. I am sure like your mother, you will possess that rare brand of silent courage and that combination of fidelity and fortitude that will be the life vest of your man in the tragic moments of his life.

During my lonely hours of solitary confinement in FortMagsaysay, Laur, Nueva Ecija last March and April with nothing else to do but pray and daydream, with only my fond memories to keep me company, I planned a weekend barrio fiesta for you in Tarlac for your 18th birthday. I fooled myself into believing that my ordeal would end with the fiscal year. I planned to invite all your classmates and friends and their families for the weekends.

The schedule called for an early departure by bus from Manila and the first stop will be Concepcion , where lunch will be served by the pool. And after lunch, you were to visit the SantaRitaElementary School to distribute cookies and ice cream to the children of that public school where you were first enrolled.

I guess sheer nostalgia prompted me to include Santa Rita. We were only three then: Mommie, you and I. Those were the days of happy memories little responsibilities, tremendous freedom, a great future ahead and capped by a fulfillment of love.. You are the first fruit of our union, the first proof of our love and the first seal of our affections.

From Concepcion we were to proceed to Luisita for the barrio fiesta. I intended to invite a friend who could roast an entire cow succulently. Swimming, pelota, dancing and eating would have been the order of the day. Sunday morning was reserved for a trip around the Hacienda and the mill and maybe golf for some of the parents and later a picnic-lunch on Uncle Tony's Island . Return to Manila after lunch. I am afraid this will have to remain as one of the many dreams I had in Laur.

Our future has suddenly become uncertain and our fate unknown. I am even now beginning to doubt whether I'll ever be able to return to you and the family. Hence, I would like to ask you these special favors.

Love your mother, whose love for you, you will never be able to match. She is not just the greatest mother in the world, she is your sincerest friend.

Take care of your younger sisters and brother and lavish them with the love and care I would like to continue giving them but am unable to do so. Help Noy-noy along and pray hard that he will grow to be a real, responsible man who in later years will protect you all. You are the model for your three younger sisters. Your responsibility is therefore great. Please endeavor to live up to our highest expectations. Be more tolerant to Pinky, more accessible to Viel, our little genius-princess, and more charitable to Krissy, our baby doll, and make up for my neglect.

Finally, forgive me, my love, for not having been an ideal, good and thoughtful father to you all as I pursued public office. I had hopes and high resolve of making up, but I am afraid my destiny will not oblige.

I seal this letter with a drop of tear and a prayer in my heart, that somehow, somewhere we shall meet again and I will finally be able to make up for all my lapses, in the kingdom where justice reigns supreme and love is eternal.

I love you,

Dad

The Verdict is in...

2009-08-17T12:09:00.004+03:00

Took this IQ just for fun and also to placate my beleaguered mind. I feel like I've been dormant for too long so much so that the lack of spontanaeity and brain activity has sent my IQ down the drain. I remembered taking one in 2007 and got a 126 score. So now, the verdict is in...

*****

Insightful Linguist
Your IQ Score is: 133

You are gifted with the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind.

Insightful linguists can take complex concepts and articulate them to just about anyone. You have a gift with words and insight into processes and the way people think. These talents enable you to explain things clearly to people. Helen Keller is a great example of an Insightful Linguist. Blind, deaf and mute, she was still able to put things together in her mind and to understand complex ideas. She could do that because she was able to conceptualize ideas internally. Though she could not literally see, she had the visual and spatial skills necessary to understand patterns on an abstract level. She learned to read, write and ultimately became a writer on issues of social justice.

You have an uncanny ability to work your way out of sticky situations using your talent with words. Crossword puzzles, debates — you're particularly well equipped to come out on top since you can read people well.

Like Charles Dickens, your verbal skills go far beyond having a good vocabulary. Dickens' genius was in the artful and descriptive way he crafted sentences. Also Dickensian, is your keen eye for detail and your adeptness for identifying the best way to express an idea based on your given surroundings and circumstances.

Your ability to communicate your vision clearly will take you far. So enjoy being perceptive, and make the most of your abilities as an insightful linguist.

MAKING AMENDS

2009-08-04T19:30:00.004+03:00

Last night, I cried. I cried out to the Lord, just like David did when he said: “Why have You forsaken me? Why do You remain so distant? Why do You ignore my cries for help?” (Psalm 22:1) I pleaded with Him to make me FEEL His presence…to let me know that He is still there. You see, it is so easy to praise God and believe that he is working in your life when things are going great – when He has generously provided food, friends, family, health and happy situations. But when circumstances turn awry, how do you worship Him then? I begged the Lord to help me overcome my feelings and keep my faith when it feels as if He has abandoned and forgotten me – when He seems a million miles away. Because that’s when relating to God and worshipping Him gets difficult.

I know that there are times when He seems to be MIA (missing-in-action). It IS but normal. Every Christian undergoes this phase at least once, and usually several times. It is painful and disconcerting, but it is absolutely vital for the development of your faith. So, I just woke up one morning and all my spiritual feelings are gone. I prayed, but nothing happened. I went through spiritual exercises, but it didn’t change anything…I asked a dear friend to pray for me… I confessed every sin I could imagine…I fasted…still nothing. So I began to wonder how long this spiritual drought might last. Days? Weeks? Months? Will it ever end? It feels as if my prayers simply bounce off the ceiling. So I tried to run way, I tried to find escape and in utter desperation, cried out: “What’s the matter with me?!?!?”

Weeks had passed but I was still in the dark. I didn’t know then what was really transpiring, what was wrong with me, and what God was planning. I knew in my heart that there must be a reason for His silent presence. So I waited patiently. I just kept uttering that this too shall pass. Then…yesterday happened.

I didn’t know why I suddenly had the urge to browse through my outdated blog in Blogspot. I changed the layout, removed some widgets and played around with new ones, edited some of the entries, and I even wrote this obscure blog about a girl who developed a skewed view on relationships after being scarred and damaged by her one great love. Toinks! My beau even asked me who it was for, and I honestly answered I didn’t know. Then, by some unknown force I was taunted to read on. And there it was, staring back at me, pages after pages of poured out emotions – cheesy poems, dedicated love songs and vindictive rants. I began blogging in 2007; when my world was turned upside down. Hence, Purplegoddess (my alter ego) was born. Amidst all that was happening I found comfort in writing. It’s soothing familiarity took me back to my comfort zone which I haven’t been to in years. I had forgotten the feeling that in paper, I can be anything. So, it became my form of release of all the hurt and the pain that was bottling up inside me. Seeing my thoughts come to life in pages, made me feel free, or so I thought. Because that pseudo-freedom was only fleeting and temporary.

For a moment, I allowed myself to drown in the nostalgia. I can’t put my finger on what I was exactly feeling – I felt relieved but also guilty, I felt a tinge of regret but I was also extremely thankful… perhaps, I’m just glad that I survived that ordeal and reigned victorious. But that victory wasn’t mine, it was solely God’s. Tirelessly and til I reach my end, I will speak forth of His transforming glory. Never had I thought that I would be where I am now…unbounded and free! And never had I imagined that I could be so happy, contented and loved UNCONDITIONALLY! (One up to our Big Man above!) That same year, I was called by the Lord for a purpose. And I knew that regardless of circumstance, He had a plan for me. He is in full control of my life so I need not worry. I found refuge in His unfailing arms. And indeed, as He has promised, His grace is sufficient for me. And so began a beautiful friendship. God was very present in my life. There was nothing He asked of me in return but my willingness to follow Him. So I fervently prayed that He change my heart so that I could keep my eyes on Him and serve Him well. And He answered...He gave me my heart’s desire. I wanted to get to know Him, like he already knows me. Soon I found that once my relationship with Him was established everything else—career, family, goals, ambitions, finances, health and friendships—began to fall into their proper place.

Unfortunately however, Christian life is not always a bed of roses. You experience deep valleys, satiated forests and, like now for me, seemingly endless, dreary deserts. Going back to my story yesterday, I was still busy with work when an email caught my attention. It was work-related stuff, the usual that International Recruitment sends to us every single day. Normally, these emails go directly to my bin without much of a second glance from me. The task of disseminating them wasn’t mine so I don’t usually bother. But at that moment, I was compelled to look... and there it was written in bold red script. A name that I NEVER thought I’d see listed in King Faisal’s new arrivals with an ID badge to boot. It felt like I’d been hit right smack in the face, a rug had been pulled from under me and I’d been doused with ice-cold water. My body went numb and I couldn’t think straight. I was cornered… trapped… God-forsaken…betrayed. It was summer of 2007 all over again. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and maybe I wanted it so bad to be untrue, so I dared to open the file, read the content and in utter defeat, I let myself shed a tear. My mind was bombarded with questions…questions that I had no answer for. HOW CAN THIS BE? Are people deliberately trying to hurt me? How can people I trust do this to me? Why did I have to find out this way? How can someone just thrash away years of friendship? What did I do wrong to deserve this? Why is the Lord allowing this kind of cruel irony?

I wanted to lash on someone. I wanted to flee. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to think. Thankfully, my knight-in-shining armor came to my rescue. Grateful as I was for the love, comfort, security and strength provided, I knew that the clarity I was desperately searching for can only be found in prayer. So I knelt down, made peace with God and laid down every question, every concern and every apprehension. I told God exactly how I felt. I poured out my heart to Him. I unloaded every emotion that I was feeling. And just as I was beginning to feel guilty over complaining a lot, the Lord appeased me by reminding me of Job when he said: “I can’t be quiet! I am angry and bitter. I have to speak!” (Job 7:11). So, I asked the Lord what lesson He was trying to teach me, what character He’s trying to develop, how in the world I’d be able to overcome this test of faith and why was He “absent” when I needed Him most?

They say that the situations that will stretch your faith most will be those times when life falls apart and God is nowhere to be found. But I couldn’t find the strength or the will to understand my situation. I trust the Lord yet I feel despair at the same time. It was frustrating. There was nothing I could do and I was feeling hopeless. Though time healed all wounds yet the taste of betrayal was still so poignant, It wasn’t that I haven’t forgiven. I did. Countless of times, I forgave; because who am I not to? It would be hypocritical of me to expect forgiveness from the Father if I didn’t want to forgive those who has done me wrong, in return. “So what’s the problem Chie?”, I asked myself. And slowly it unfolded, it’s not so much as I haven’t forgiven, it’s because I haven’t heard the words that I needed to hear – that someone will take responsibility for what had happened. It’s not that people haven’t tried to apologize either (ok, so maybe SOMEONE really haven’t). It’s just that no one ever got it right before. TO MAKE AMENDS IS NOT JUST TO APOLOGIZE. IT’S TO MAKE A THING RIGHT. So there it was, the Lord quietly revealed to me what was wrong and what was really getting in the way… it was my PRIDE. All the while, it was ME,ME,ME. And I was ashamed. The Lord called us to settle our relationship with each other (2 Cor 5:18); He commanded to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us (Luke 6:27) and patiently reminded us that “If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God." (Matt 5:23-24). With this, I was deeply humbled. It is not only me whom the Lord loves,but even those who has hurt me. It is not only me whom He will call to serve in His ministry. It is not me whom He has a purpose. And it is not only me who will merit His blessings. Because just like everyone else, I am nothing before God... I have nothing to boast. It is only by his GRACE that I find favor in his sight. He is a gracious, loving, forgiving, patient, all-knowing Father who envelops all of mankind with his penultimate love. He supplies, He provides, He gives, He forgives, He guides, He comforts, He protects not just those who love and obey Him (a.k.a. the "good" people); but even more so those who knowingly hurt & disobey Him. And all because He patiently, unconditionally, and irrevocably LOVE US!

So what now? Does this mean that I’m OK? Nope. By a long shot…NO. But I have faith in the Lord that His grace will walk me through this. He will be by my side. All the things I can’t do, HE CAN. And in my weakness, He will be my strength! I do not wish to question His plan or His purpose for "His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His ways are higher than my ways". I am a work in progress… a masterpiece in the making… but when my Potter is done with me, I will be a sight to behold. Whole. Healed. And this time... FOR REAL.

I will be fine. Just as the Lord has promised that everything will work out together for good for those who love God and are called for His purpose. I will be just...perfect...in His time!

To God be the glory!

IMPASSE

2009-08-03T11:33:00.000+03:00

Our story begins with the girl who is hurting over a guy she can’t have. You see, after losing all hope of ever finding love again after your one great love has failed you…your world is turned upside down then it stops. You then try your darnest to turn it right side up and get it to spin again. So amidst the hullabaloo, somehow, in some weird way, life begins anew. So you’re happy, and giddy and contented all on your own. Everything is where it should be and everything makes sense again. You realize that this is the perfect place for you…this is where you should be… and there is no better place in the world that you need to be…right now.

So what is a newly reformed superwoman to do when a budding love comes knocking – unwelcome, yet still patiently knocking – on your front door? I’m not gonna try comparing Dashing Debonair 1 and Dashing Debonair 2 because they are very, very different; but love is love and you FEEL it through your very core…try as you might to fight, deny or suppress its looming presence, yet you know in your not-so-deep subconscious that you are profoundly smitten by budding love-slash-Dashing Debonair 2.

Thing is, YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM. Can you imagine that? To love someone and they love you but you can’t be together. To see him everyday – every single day, and not be able to touch him, hold him, kiss him. Well, this is the hell that is whose life right now? You long for him. You want him. But you can’t have him. Because it’s dangerous to love him. Loving him can get you hurt again. So you choose to stay away and just be contented with watching him from afar. So is it even logical to still have hope? That you CAN be together again one day? I don’t know. But I think hope is good. Hope is something we all need.

And Budding Love is trying. He is struggling to heal himself. He’s done with denial. Let’s face it, nothing hits home like almost losing the love of your life over your deep, dark secrets...of tales of unrequited love, estranged fiancés, fruit of past loves and what-nots. Which is why he is in serious meditation. And I admire him for seeking help right away. It’s brave. Brave because he has to relive things that nearly cost him his “life”. And yet he’s given himself over to self-introspection, hoping that this can help. And when he defines that feeling of despondency and despair, my heart broke because he is so tortured, but I also feel victorious. Because there’s a chance he can mend. And with that possibility comes hope. There’s that word again…

All the 80's Babies in the House Say, Yeah!

2009-04-19T09:33:00.004+03:00

Para sa lahat ng ipinanganak noong dekada '80s at nagkamuwang noong dekada '90s...

1. Jolina Magdangal - kapartner ni Marvin Agustin kung saan nauso ang chuvachuchu chuvachuchu at mga parang Chirstmas tree na hairstyle at outfit.

At alam na alam mong nagmula si Jolina, o Jolens para sa mga miyembro ng Jolina Magdangal Fansclub AMA Computer College Chapter, sa sikat na sikat na TV show kapag 4:30 na! ANG TV NA!

Kilala mo rin sina Lindsay Custodio, Victor Neri, Francesca (Cheska) at Patrick Garcia, Vandolph, Jan Marini,Rica Peralejo, atbp. Patok na patok din ang TGIS at ang kalaban nitong Gimik. Dapat kilala mo sina Wacks (Joaquin Torress III) at Peachy, sa Gimik naman nakilala si G Toengi na naging hostess ng Music Bureau with FrancisM na pinalitan ni Jao Mapa.

2. Kapag ikaw ay kapos na sa mga salita ay maaari mong gamitin ang mga katagang chuva, chenes, chenelin, ganun, ganun-ganun, ayun o kaya ang mga expressions na "Wala lang", "Ano ba `yan?," "OVEEEERRR," that later on evolved to "WHY NOTTTTTT??" courtesy of Kris Aquino.

3. Robinson's Galleria na napabalitang may ahas daw sa fitting room na ang pangalan ay Robina (famed sister of Robinson). Biktima rito si Alice Dixson na umano'y tumakbong naka-bra at panty lang nang makita ang ahas sa fitting room. Malamang ang balitang ito ay black propaganda ng Megamall.

4. Speaking of malls, sa panahong ito rin nauso ang arcade games (bulok pa ang Ragnarok at ano pang online gaming sa kasalukuyan) . Astig ka kapag pupunta ka ng Glico's sa Quad (Timezone sa Glorietta ngayon) tapos marunong kang mag Street Fighter o Virtual Fighter. Kung ayaw mo naman ng violence e pwede kang mag-Dance Revo!

5. Ang digmaan ng mga Hip-hop at Metal. Sabi ng Hip-hop "YO! WASSUP, HIPHOP HOOORRAAAAAYYY! " Sagot ng mga Metal, "HIPHOP BULOK!! PUNKS' NOT DEAD! ANARCHY! ANARCHY!" Uso ito sa Megamall. Mga hiphop na naka-pinahabang puruntong o pinaikling pantalon o kaya baggy pants, low waist, at may mga blingblings na peace sign o kaya kadena ng bisikleta o fanbelt. Ang mga metal laging naka-itim (Top 40 na tshirt, Pantera, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Sepultura, Metallica, etc.) tapos naka-fit na pantalon at Chuck Taylor. Ang mga Hiphop ay flat tops ang buhok na may guhit pa minsan sa gilid samantalang ang mge metal ay GQ ang buhok na naka-undercut pa. Lahat ng metal marunong mag-gitara kahit ang alam lang tugtugin ay `Line to Heaven' ng Introvoys (Intro: D-A-G-A; intro lang kasi nga Intro-boys). Kung may identity crisis ka malamang ay ang papakinggan mo na lang ay si FrancisM, rap na may heavy distortion ang guitar riffs, astig ang bahista ng Hardware Syndrome with matching scratches ni DJ Kimozave at ba-backup naman ang Evil Stepsisters.

6. Eraserheads - karugtong ng digmaan ng mga Hiphop at Metal. Sila ang muling nagpauso ng Chuck Taylor. `Pare Ko' ang pangalawa sa `Line to Heaven' na alam gitarahin ng mga gustong maging katulad ni Ely. Nag-ambisyon ang lahat na mapabilang sa isang banda. Kung kilala mo ang Eheads, malamang alam mo rin ang Yano, The Youth, Razorback, Color It Red, Mastaplann (teka, Hiphop yata ito), Dahong Palay, Reanimator, Death by Stereo, Rizal Underground, Rivermaya (na si Bamboo pa ang bokalista), True Faith, Fatal Posporos, Datu's Tribe, Tribal Fish, Arachnida, Alamid, Teeth, at alam mong hindi kano si Basti Artadi ng Wolfgang (imagine Eddie Vedder singing `Halik ni Hudas').

7. Ultimate Warrior - namatay daw dahil binuhat si Andre the Giant (na namatay din that time). May ibang balitang namatay siya dahil daw pumutok ang muscles niya sa sobrang higpit ng tali.

8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - sina Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello, Raphael. Master nila si Splinter, kaibigang reporter si April O'Neal. Kalaban sina Shredder, Bebop, Rocksteady, Krang at ang mga Foot Soldiers (na parang mga tauhan ni Dr. Man ng Bioman). Tapos uso ang retromutagenooze na mabibilil mo sa suking SM toyland. COWABUNGA, DUDE!"

9. Ang Pepsi 349 Scandal. Kung valid man ang libo libong claims ng mga Pilipinong nakakuha ng tansan na may tatak sa ilalim na 349 ay hindi ito makaka-apekto sa lumalalang global warming na nararanasan ng mundo. Ang nakapag-benefit lang dito ay ang Coke dahil sa libo libong nag-boycott sa Pepsi na feeling nila ay na-raket lang sila. (Parang 80's yata ito)

10. Ang Alamat ng Zagu. Ito ay ang pinasosyal na palamig, sago at gulaman. Kung anong meron dito ay ang pakiramdam na ikaw ay IN, HIP, at COOL. Ang pila dito ay singhaba ng pila sa US embassy na gustong makakita ng snow at pumunta ng Disneyland (wala pa kasing Hong Kong Disneyland e) at ang kumpol ng mga tinedyers na may supsop supsop na Zagu ay sindami ng mga lalaking naka-white t-shirt sa Kalaw na nagbabakasakaling maging seaman at OFW. Talaga naman everyone went gaga over zagu.

11. Easycall at Beeper 125. Wala lang ganun, text messaging na itatawag mo pa sa call center para masabi mong I M HERE AT HOM, PLS COME OEVR. Tapos yung may pager na nasa labas hahanap ng payphone para tawagan ang nag-page sa kanya. Kaso mahirap makakuha ng txtmate dito, di ko lang sure ko pwedeng i-page ang SAN N U? D2 N ME.Ü

12. Bago nakilala si Shakira ay sumikat muna si Thalia na mas kilala nating gumanap bilang Marimar. Pero mali ang nagsabing ito ang unang telenovela na naipalabas sa Pilipinas dahil nauna rito ang La Traidora sa channel 9. Kilala mo siguro si Pulgoso at Padre Pio at sino bang makakalimot kay Fernando Jose na mas kinky pa ang buhok sa dibdib kesa sa ulo, salamat kay Ogie Alcasid dahil mas nabigyan niya ng hustisya ang papel na ito. Sinundan ito ng mga makasaysayang Maria La Del Barrio na nagevolve sa Taiwan bilang Meteor Garden at nang mapunta sa Korea ay naging Jewel in the Palace.

13. Speaking of Ogie Alcasid, bago pa man ang Bubble Gang ay una na tayong pinalagpak sa upuan kakatawa ng Tropang Trumpo. Nariyan ang Caronia dance na kahit ito lang ang alam mong sayawin ay kayang kaya mong talunin si Charlene Gonzales sa Feel Like Dancing. Dito rin nakilala si Earl Ignacio (ang boses sa likod ni Peter Pan) na naging syota ni Cristine Bersola bago siya naging Mrs. Babao.

14. The Uncanny X-Men. Ang lyrics ng intro at ending nito ay tinginingininini tinginingingini, ting ting! Love story ito, umikot ang kwento sa love triangle nila Cyclops, Jean Grey at Wolverine. Bakit kasi lahat ng hinahalikan ni Rogue ay nanghihina. Si Jubilee ba ay babae o batang babae? Kapatid ba ni Storm si Undertaker kasi parehong nawawala ang pupil ng mga mata nila? Meron palang halimaw na kulay blue, sa totoo lang siya si Grimace ng McDonald's at nagiging bestial lang siya kapag tinawag siya ni Professor X. Kung iisipin mo mas wholesome panoorin ang Captain
Planet,, pwedeng pambata at pwede ring pang-environmentali st. GO PLANET!!

15. ung panahon ng Miss Universe (circa Charlene Gonzales, Shushmita Sen, Viveka Babajee, at Dayanara Torres) ay lahat ng lalaki kahit babae ay patay na patay kay Miss Belguim. Siya si Christelle Roelandts na pagkatapos ng pageant ay di na natin alam kung anong nangyari sa kanya. Pero may nabalitang nakapag-asawa siya ng astronaut at nanay siya ng quadruplets na huwag mong paniwalaan kasi imbento ko lang ang bahagi ng kwentong ito.

16. Balik tayo sa Megamall. Nung dekada ring ito nagkalat ang balitang wag kang manunood ng sine sa mall na ito kasi may nang-iinjection ng AIDS dito. Siguro ganti ito ng Robinson's Galleria sa kanila nang sumunod kasi na araw sa Megamal na bumili ng bra at panty si Alice Dixson.

17. Ang Sabado Nights Girl na si Ina Raymundo ay ina na sa totoong buhay. Ang awiting Sabado Nights ay kinanta ng Rizal Underground. Wala na akong ibang kwento tungkol dito.

18. Sa panahon ding ito sumikat ang matinee idol na naging inspirasyon ng maraming kabataan dahil sa pagiging love team nila ni Judy Ann. Ang
nasirang si Rico Yan. Ang ipinagtataka ko lang ay nauna lang nag kaunti ang pagkamatay nina Lucio San Pedro at Levi Celerio, na itinuturing nating mga Alagad Ng Sining, sa pagkamatay ni Rico Yan, pero mas nagdalamhati ang sambayanan nang malaman nilang hindi na pala magkakabalikan sina Claudine Baretto at Rico Yan kasi nga namatay si Rico Yan sa piling ni Dominic Ochoa. Kung overdose sa ecstasy ang kaniyang ikinamatay o dahil sa bangungot ay hindi na mahalaga dahil sa panahong ito isinilang ang Rico Yan Youth Foundation, hayan may kabuluhan naman pala.

19. Nung wala pang Ipod at nalaos na ang walkman ay nauso naman ang discman nuong dekada `90. Kaya lang, mahirap mag-jogging na ang bibit mo ay walkman dahil skip lang nang skip ang lens sa CD at di mo mapatugtog ng maayos. Di rin pwede sa kotse kasi pag nalubak o dumaan sa hump o biglang huminto ay skip na naman ang discman bago pa naimbeto ang CD player na may anti-shock. Kaso bakit di nauso ang discman na may FM/AM receiver?

Kung naka-abot ka sa bahaging ito at naka-relate sa karamihan ng mga nakasulat dito, malamang ay high school ka nung panahong laos na ang mga larong tumbang preso, taguan, teks, chinese garter, step no, at piko. At ang hinlalaki mo ay puro kalyo na kaka-pindot ng controller ng Family Computer. Siguro ngayon ay isa ka nang propesyunal o family person o kung ano man ang iyong ginagawa na kahit abalang abala sa maraming bagay ay meron pa ring naitatabing oras para sariwain ang alaala ng nakalipas at ang katotohanan ng buhay na minsan ay nagturo sa iyong harapin ang kinabukasan.

CREDITS: Thanks Te Maja.Got this from your FB Post.Cheers!

The WARRIOR

2009-04-14T14:18:00.000+03:00

For the Warrior there is no such thing as an impossible love.

He is not intimidated by silence, indifference or rejection. He knows that
behind the heart of ice that people wore, there beats a heart of fire.

This is why the Warrior takes more risks than other people. He is
constantly seeking the love of someone, even if that means often having to
hear the word "no", returning home defeated and feeling rejected in body
and soul.

A Warrior never gives in to fear when he is searching for what he needs.

Without love, he is nothing.

-Paulo Coelho

Dahil Summer Na...Wear Sunscreen!

2009-04-13T16:46:00.002+03:00

I first came across this poem - Wear Sunscreen by Mary Schmich - way back in high school when we were assigned to look for a literary piece to memorize and eventually deliver to the whole class. I remember thinking that there were a lot of things mentioned in the poem that didn't quite make sense to me, like when the poet compared "worrying" to "solving an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum". (huh? wut da!?!?) And even the opening line left me feeling daft: "If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it". I imagined myself lying on my death bed, surrounded by my loved ones and telling them that the most important advice I could leave them with was "to wear sunscreen". (O db? Ang weirdanx lang. LOL). Back then I thought, I was probably biting more than I could chew so I moved on to read another poem. Besides, I told myself, the poem was such a bore – IT DIDN'T RHYME!

Fast-forward to 2007, in my lowest of low a dear friend – itago natin sya sa pangalang boatmate – forwarded to me a youtube link of a song by Baz Luhrman. I was having a pretty bad day, no scratch that, month…and the song was meant to cheer me up. We were both having a hard time dealing with our "transition period" and thus, subjected ourselves to this penultimate quest of trying to "find" ourselves. Kaya yun, in order to avoid partial autism, we ended up indulging our NERDY NEEDS --- constant blogging, swapping hard-to-find ebooks, endorsing piracy ( no wonder Multiply banned mp3 downloads), proving (yeap, you heard me right, as in logic and proof with all the If, Then & Therefore) ridiculous statements such as "1=2" or "your age by eating out"!!! Talk about getting over a slump. Going back, when the song was first mentioned to me I found it a bit queer. I mean, if you're trying to top the Billboard charts would you name your single Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)? I didn't realize that it was the exact same poem-like essay that I read not too long ago until I got to the lyrics. Kanta na sya ngayon! Odb? Asensado. And that's when it hit me. The author wasn't demented after all. She was speaking life-changing truths. Harsh realities based on actual experiences. The wisdom behind the seemingly inconsequential words was very profound that only the Elect, honed and sculpted by Time, can truly understand. Only when you have seen the worst and survived the worst, can you say "Wear sunscreen" and mean it. (Note to Boatmate: If you're reading this, thank you for everything. The boat I was in [then] would have toppled over or I would have been consumed by the crashing waves, if it hadn't been for you. The journey became bearable knowing that I wasn't alone. I miss your kind words and your wise counsel. I miss the friendship. But wherever life leads us, the sense of belongingness is here to stay. Stay happy!)

Oh and about that literary piece assignment, I ended up reciting Anabelle Lee!!!! nyahaha...In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE; And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me… by Edgar Allan Poe. Feeling ko kasi it was a story of undying love and of happily-ever-afters, only to find out in the end that it was such a morbid tale…Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

So here it is, free sunscreen for everyone!

Happy reading!

****************

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed indoing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes yousoft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out..

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen..

"Dream, Desire, Dare & Do" - Lourdes Azupardo-Abitria (1962-1992)

2009-02-11T13:13:00.003+03:00

(Clockwise from top: Epz, No, Yaj, Chie, Mama, Len)

My little sister, our beloved bunso, posted this collage as her Friendster primary pic. It caught my attention and my initial reaction was why she didn't include our dad. Then I proceeded to read her shout out: "happy birthday mama (2/11/1962)., :) we LOVE her and MISS her as well., adi mga kapatid? aus ba? haha.," and it hit me, 11 Feb 2009, that's tomorrow!!! No! Of course I hadn't forgotten. How could I?

Natuwa lang ako at the same time nalungkot. It was a very touching gesture by my little sister who was just a year old when our mom passed away in the summer of 2001. I was 9 then. My brothers were 7, 5 & 3. Amongst the 5 of us, Len was the least to know our mom. She doesn't have anything AT ALL to remember Mama by. She doesn't have even the faintest memories of how caring, how loving, how nurturing mama was. And it breaks my heart.

Mama died due to multiple sclerosis (an incurable degenerative disease even to this day). All I could remember during the last 2 years of her life was that she was in and out of the hospital every few weeks. Sometimes lasting for months. I didn't even know what they were doing to her. Big words constantly fill the conversations of the adults like chemotherapy, radiation, and MRI. When I asked my mom what's wrong with her, she'd just say nothing and assure me that she'll be coming home soon. And she usually does. She'd be home for a month or so. Going back to her usual routine of teaching high school math, taking care of us, doing my projects, helping me on my assignments, making sure that I remain on the top spot of my class, putting up with my dad, etc. And it would be normal for us again. I felt assured that the doctors were doing what they were supposed to be doing - curing my mom.

You see, my faith in the white-coat donning modern day superheroes (aka doctors) was implicit, a sort of hero worship if you will. Because they're smarties who SAVE lives. And I liked to pretend they have all the answers to explain every possible anomaly of the human body, that they learned all these answers in a very popular med school course called "THE ANSWERS!" Sadly, this is not the case. There is no such course. They learn to use good judgment to get close to the answers... and then they guess. And sometimes they're right. And sometimes they're wrong. And sometimes it's too close to call... in our mom's case it was way too late when they realized what WAS wrong... 15years too late!

So when Len bravely asked "THE" question, 2 years ago during one of my vacations, I was dumbfounded. We were all gathered in Mamalol's place (except for No who was in PMA) for lunch. She simply asked: "How did Mama die? What was she like? Mabait ba sya?" It was the first time in years that anyone of us breached that topic. And the question was so innocent and so full of meaning at the same time...i couldn't help but cry. Then the stories came pouring. My younger brothers even shared theirs. Some said things that I already forgot and it was refreshing to remember Mama that way. Not when she was already bed-ridden but when she was still healthy, thriving, and so full of life!

Our dearest Mama Nene (as we lovingly called her) was (like me) the eldest in her brood of 4. She had me when she was about to graduate in college. Like many others during their time, she and my dad "romantically" eloped upon knowing that they'll be having me in a few months(I was a December baby. Go figure!). Nevertheless, that bulging belly and all) never stopped her from garnering that much-deserved Latin honors. She graduated Cum Laude. And as our dear aunt lovingly recalled the age-old story, Mama could have become the Magna Cum Laude had it not been for me (kasalanan ko naman pala!hehe). Afterwards, she became a high school Math teacher. And a pretty
good one at that. As far as I could remember, she became the youngest Department Head in the whole school at 22! She was constantly away for trainings and seminars as she was being groomed to heading a division or something. She was a real achiever, no doubt, and she could have gone to become a somebody in the world of education had she lived long enough.

So, can you imagine how my childhood was? Well, with 2 Math teachers for parents, we have a very strict study schedule to follow. No TV was allowed after dinnertime. Cruel, I know! Every night save for weekends, we had to take our books, notebooks and pencils out, ready for the ensuing tutoring session with our mom. And she doesn't stop with the assignments either, she always preps us up for the next lessons as well. Get this, in second grade, while my classmates were busy solving problems about apples and oranges, I already know how to solve the x & y's of basic algebra!!!! We had encyclopedias and scientific calculators for toys; chess and Da-math constitute our "playtime"; and all the books we could consume sporadically strewn around the house. Dolls and toy cars were practically non-existent! She'd make sure that all my projects gets done and all I had to do was submit them. Our mom was the absolute best! But all her hard work was not in vain, the top spot in class was always ready for our taking! So when she passed on, I unconsciously took over this particular responsibility with my siblings. And they would often complain that I'm much grouchier not to mention horribly impatient than our mom ever was. (What d'ya expect from a 10-year old?duh!)

During the 9 short years that i had with Mama, I never saw her cry, breakdown, freak-out or lose control. Even when Papa and she had a fight. Actually, I never saw them fight. Not even once ( interesting thought…hmmm). Life was hard for us - imagine raising 5 kids with the salary of a high school teacher. But she was always on top of things and she always manages to make ends meet. Even when she had nothing at all, she had everything to give. She endured the hardships of being a young mom without sacrificing her dreams. Her uncanny ability to withstand any problem that comes her way - juggling family and her career - was truly inspirational! She's very resilient not to mention competitive. Her appetite for knowledge and her strong will purpose can surpass that of anyone I knew. I was just thinking, at my age of 26, Mama already had a flourishing career with a Master's degree to boot, and 3 kids to sustain! Who does that?!? I can't even imagine myself having kids yet, and she
already had 3! I realized, I'd never be like her - even if I wish to…no matter how tried. I'll never measure up.

These last few words immortalized in one of her journals that my brother and I unearthed when she was gone had remained in our hearts to live by: "Dream, Desire, Dare & DO"! Somehow, it served like a "huling-habilin" for us: Dream big. Desire for it. Dare yourself. & Just DO it! Wise counsel, indeed.

Mama was a dainty little lady who has a big heart, a pure soul, a sharp mind and a loving spirit. She was, is and forever will be our very own supermom!

Happy birthday, Mama!

WE LOVE YOU! Somehow, someday, we will make you proud.

We remember,

Maria Richelle "Chie" A. Abitria (1982)

Roger "No" A. Abitria Jr. (1984)

Roger "JJ" A. Abitria III (1986)

Roger "JP" A. Abitria IV (1988))

Lynne Richelle "Len" A. Abitria (2000)

LOVE vs ADDICTION

2008-08-18T16:03:00.001+03:00

Addiction. Who doesn’t love a good addiction? You try something. You like it. You try it again. You build a little ritual around it, make it a special part of your day. You tell time by it. “Must be noon, cause I’m jonesing for another cup of my special English tea!” or “I know it’s morning cause I’m awake and ready for a hit of crystal meth!”

DON’T DO METH, KIDS.

Scenario #1: The recently broken-up couple

See, here’s the thing: anything can be addictive. And it’s not always easy to spot when something slips down that slippery slope from experiment to habit to addiction. Derek and Meredith thought they’d ended it. Cold turkey. White knuckle. Over. So over. Well, it wasn’t totally over. There was a bit of a hang-over. A little no-strings-attached sex. Just for old times sake. No harm, no foul. But the thing is, there is harm. Derek doesn’t like it. He wants to talk. He wants to sleep over. He wants lunch, with the woman he loved, or loves, or has some impossible to define love related interaction with. He’s settling for just the sex, cause that’s all she’s willing to indulge. But that’s only hurting him. It’s just enough of the drug to keep him hooked. Never enough to satisfy him, only enough to make him want more. And he knows. He knows he’s got a problem, but he can’t walk away.

Love. It’s like crystal meth.

DON’T DO METH.

Scenario #2: The impending breakup

Even Callie’s strung out. Callie, who always seemed stronger than the rest of them. More together. Less at the mercy of her emotions. Sure, George’s on-again, off-again interest, his loosey goosey commitment made her kind of nuts, but she always seemed like she was handling it. Now she’s walking around the hospital like a crazy person. Falling down on the job, which she NEVER does. Unable to concentrate on anything other than the sneaking suspicion that her husband’s having an affair. She knows it, in her heart she can’t deny it. But she can’t face it either. She’s in a marriage that’s destroying her, and her husband’s about to come clean and maybe put them both out of their misery, but she can’t let him do it. She can’t let him say it. She’d rather be a strung out junkie than deal with the pain of withdrawal.

That’s a pretty serious drug.

BUT NOT AS SERIOUS AS CRYSTAL METH, WHICH YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T DO.

So don’t get into relationships with people who can’t handle them. Don’t you just want to shake Derek and Callie? Don’t you want to shake them and say, “These people keep telling you they can’t give you what you want – believe them!” But shaking them wouldn’t help. Because they’re addicted. They can’t walk away even when they want to.

Sad, isn’t it? -30-

The Untold Fairytale

2008-05-31T15:37:00.002+03:00

Once upon a time, in the not-so-distant past, there lived a young, naïve girl without a care in the world. Armed with nothing but a pinch of hope and an ounce of self-esteem, she bravely entered the kingdom of UPLB. This was a realm where freedom reigned supreme. Liberalism, autonomy and non-conformity is encouraged whilst conventionality, compromised submission and orthodoxy is blatantly dissuaded. The people are pushed to speak up their minds and fight for their rights (if need be). So, on she persevered to prove herself worthy of the title bestowed upon her by the sovereign people of the democracy. She indeed became a bonafide Iska making her way up to earn the much-coveted BS Chemical Engineering diploma to bring home to her doting father back in the outskirts of Bicolandia.

But alas! Unsuspectingly, fate intervened. God has other plans for her. Certain circumstances in her life then, dictated that she give up her senior year for "sustenance"; and forced her to succumb to her socio-economic duties. Her family needed her. Refusing to play the damsel-in-distress parody (eagerly awaiting for her Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet); she stubbornly took the helm, wore the knight-in-shining-armor insignia, and came to their rescue.

But even before her world turned upside down, she innocently gave her heart away to her very first love...a passion that has driven her through the 5 excruciating years of mathematical formulas and chemical experiments... a dip into a surreal world that stripped away all her inhibitions and unraveled layers and layers of masked pretenses. An unfathomable, overwhelming love that drew her to the brink of self-destruction…consuming her very soul. The art. The love. The fervor for DANCE.

Dancing has set her free. Unwanted thoughts eluded her when confined in her element. It gives her the feeling of limitless possibilities. On stage…basking in the glory of a well-performed, adrenaline-induced, artistic repertoire…she had soared. She had flown. She had lived. Or so she thought…

This passion, though, has proven to be agonizingly futile. Dancing, as a profession was…well… frowned upon. It was considered to be among the lowly ranks of being a jester or the clown in the royal courts. Thus, throwing her into the arms of a monotonously white-collared but financially well-off second love...her job. Her career drove her to new heights she never imagined. It delivered as promised… It placed food on the table, didn’t it? ‘Twas her family’s saving grace. And she was able to procure assets she could only dream of. Investment after investment she ventured on. Piece by piece, parcel by parcel, possession by possession… on and on, she went through the process of acquisition. She labored for years on end, thinking that this would be enough. She soared. She flew. She lived. Or so she thought…

In the end, gratifying her self-absorbed delusions of grandeur wasn’t, isn’t and will never be the answer she was desperately looking for. She was only fooling herself into thinking that financial security and stability can fill the void in her life. Just as dance wasn’t able to define her as person, she found out not a little too soon, that her career wasn’t “ALL THAT” as well.

And like any other respected lady in the House of Singlehood, she wasn’t spared from heartaches and heartbreaks. Though donning the steel armor of faith, she had an Achilles’ heel as well. Her HEART proved to be her downfall. She had recklessly given bits and pieces of her heart to undeserving men-of-honor. Countless times, her heart soared. Flew. And lived. Or so she thought…

The enemy, being the devious thief in the night, was always ready to pounce on her especially when she puts her guard down. Lies, dishonesty, and deception were sugar-coated in promises of perpetual happiness, pledges of eternal commitment and thoughts of forever. But that’s just about it. Mere promises…empty… temporary…devoid of any lasting assurance.

In the years that ensued, being incorrigibly stubborn, she only served one “god”…her own sweet self. She engorged herself in things, activities, passions that served the glorious reign of her one great love. She was, in essence, a self-serving, self-edifying, self-centered, ego-maniacal, selfish brat. She was altogether lonely…altogether empty… altogether LOST.

Finally, that girl who dreamt but was dejected, who soared high but ungraciously fell down, who flew to unreachable heights but was taken down my circumstance, who lived unsparingly only to die again. That girl finally found salvation. She finally found the answer to her unending quest. An eternal promise that can never be broken. A love never-ending that has, is and will transcend time and space like no other love ever known to man. She finally found her happy-ever-after… in Jesus Christ her one true God, Lord, Savior and Redeemer!

Finally found. Finally saved. Finally contented and happy. That girl was ME.

From Glory to Glory I was changed.

From Glory to Glory I was renewed.

From Glory to Glory I now live.

To GOD be the Glory!

~THE END~

Note to self:

Well, the end is naught. DANCE is my first love. And first loves never die, or so goes the cliché.

IF I WERE MEREDITH GREY...

2007-12-22T16:33:00.000+03:00

I LOVE Grey’s Anatomy (read: Shonda Rhimes is a sheer genius!). It’s one of my guilty pleasures. I adore the characters because I could often relate to them; obviously not the work stuff, but the problems they face, the friendship they formed and the personal struggles they all had to go through.

Everyone I know (including myself) are broken and damaged or dark and twisty. I am not proud of the mistakes I’ve done in the past, but it’s what made the person I’ve become. If I were to re-write my story, I wouldn’t change a thing (oh well, maybe a few erasures here and there. kidding). Because no matter how many times I fell, no matter how many times people broke my trust, no matter how bleak the future was then… the thing is, I survived. As long as you live through another day, it’s one more chance... one more opportunity to make things right or at least do the right thing. Why not make the most of it? Besides, we all carry our own baggage. We all have our ominous past that shadows our seemingly-perfect present. And even the best of us are after all still, broken and damaged or dark and twisty.

After learning my lessons well, I vowed to exercise extreme caution, prudence, patience, and utmost sensibility before making any life-changing decisions. I have to think it through a million times before making the jump. Especially on love and relationships. I’ve always believed in the beauty of a quintessential love affair where love, respect & loyalty is primary, commitment is necessary and communication is key. Call it a twisted reality, a futile fantasy, a childish delusion…call it whatever you like. But isn’t it the beauty of love… you fall when you least expect it… you drown when you think everything’s fine… then at the moment when you thought you’re done for, you’ll soar once again.

Thing is… you can’t expect the unexpected. So you’ll never be prepared when whatchamacallit comes knocking at your door. So what if, when you thought it was time to see who’s on the other side, you find – not one, but two prospective knights-in-shining-armor desperately fighting for your affection? What is a damsel-in-distress (na sobra haba ng hair) to do? If you were to choose between King Arthur and Sir Lancelot, who would you go for?

My solution: no one…JUST YET. I resorted to… … DATING (both of them. Hahaha.)! I'm bad? I know!!!! But it’s fun…tingles and everything… until the time that I HAVE to choose. Darn! Do I really have to?

Then another sign poking at my now-despondent conscience was staring in front of me while I was answering a survey earlier. One of the questions was:

16.) Ever dated two people at once? (Guess what my answer was? ;p)

I couldn’t help laughing at the seemingly-innocent, matter-of-fact way the question was thrown at me as if it were goading me to make a smart-ass answer. Hence, I remembered this scene from Grey’s Anatomy’s Sometimes a Fantasy:

MEREDITH: Enough! This is not dating. I want moonlight, and flowers, and candy, and people trying to feel me up. Nobody is trying to feel me up. Nobody is even looking at me! I'm an intern. Do the two of you have any idea how much effort it takes to do all this? (She motions to her body.) I'm waxed, and plucked, and I have a clean top on. (Shouting) And the two of you are looking at each other.

DEREK: Meredith, it's...

MEREDITH: No! My fantasy is not two men looking at each other.

FINN: We didn't...

MEREDITH: No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date! I want heat, I want romance, damn it I wanna feel like a freakin' lady!

So, who are my Derek and Finn? Intrigued? Sorry, but I won’t be divulging their top-secret identities here. So it shall remain that way…for now…this will have to suffice:

My Finn: I’ve known him for quite some time now. A dear friend who knows how to listen and when to give me advice. Someone whom I'm really comfortable with and most importantly, someone whom I can count on if I ever needed anything. Basically a good guy who dreams of a happy ending. His version of a happy-ever-after involves a loving wife and a couple kids to boot! An ideal family man…need I say more?

My Derek: Has a dark past…and waaaaay too much baggage to carry around (which he thoughtfully confessed right after he told me his intentions…how convenient db?) Most (if not all) of my friends says he’s bad news and that he’s not good for me (note: he pledged allegiance to a certain brotherhood of testosterone-pumping, ego-inflated men whose reputation can only be matched by their legendary notoriety. But behind the menacing facade, a sweet, loving and surprisingly warm creature resides. There’s never a dull moment with him. I don’t know how to say this…but I guess, we just clicked.

So, there goes my dilemma. When my Tita said that my Derek is bad for me and and that my Finn is a good thing, there’s some truth to it. Finn is a rescuer-guy. You know, rescuer-guys, right? They’re the ones who are determined to break through the scary/damaged barrier we dark and twisty girls put up. They’re the real thing, rescuer-guys are the guys you marry.

The guys you should marry. But then there are the Dereks of the world…

Let me say a little something about McDreamy men. They are scary and damaged themselves. They carry a little bit of tortured soul in them. But they mean well. And they’re honest. And they’re so, so, so darn tempting. Especially when they say “I just…I love you. I have loved you…forever.” How in the world are we supposed to say no to that? We should. We should send them packing. But…SERIOUSLY?

And so Meredith…errrr… I mean, I (Chie) am left with this choice. Between what my brain knows what I should do and what my heart wants to do. And while it seems obvious and easy, it’s absolutely not. Finn has plans. And Derek got issues. And there’s the choice to be healthy and mature and whole, and the choice to jump off the cliff. And no one jumps off a cliff without a parachute if they know what is good for them. Plus, it’s not like I don’t have feelings for Finn. I definitely have feelings for Finn. And I know Derek said that he really, really, genuinely likes me… but is it enough?

The confusion is confusing and the heartbreak that always feels imminent is scary -- so freaking scary the idea that you could make the wrong choice and lose the right man -- even the idea that you might make the right choice and lose the wrong man is upsetting when you really, really like them both.

That would give any girl pause. Major, major pause.

I am pausing.

I’ve hit the pause button.

But, ultimately, I like to take my finger off the pause button and see what happens next.

A Simple Request...

2007-12-16T15:27:00.000+03:00

IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE THERE, WHEN I TURN AROUND...
PLEASE DON'T FOLLOW

IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA RUN AWAY
PLEASE STOP THE CHASE....

...IF YOU'RE NOT READY TO CATCH ME...

PLEASE DON'T LET ME FALL...

UNWRITTEN LETTER#1

2007-12-15T09:10:00.001+03:00

I'VE CRASHED AND BURNED A MILLION TIMES

I'VE BEEN BROKEN, I'VE BEEN MAIMED, I'VE BEEN HELD CAPTIVE IN THE DARKNESS

I HAD TO TEACH MYSELF TO WALK AGAIN

SO PLEASE...

IF YOU'RE NOT READY TO CATCH ME...

PLEASE DON'T LET ME FALL....

ONE WISH

2007-11-18T17:15:00.000+03:00

I haven't written anything (at all!) in a while. Zilch! Nada! Kaput! Don't know what gives. I'm more into reading than writing these days. Probably because when I write I'd just rant about something and it's really not my cup of tea. So now, I found a new pastime...I resorted to editing - revising materials I've previously written haphazardly. So here goes one of them...

*******************************************************

I wish to go back to the age of innocence…

...where dreams abound and desires were pure...

...where guilt lurked in the shadows
and I was pure…

I wish to cloak my tainted mind with the shroud of incorruptibility…

…to soften my hardened heart and unmask my jaded doppelganger on the prowl

…to remember what I was then, to reveal who I'd become

and to see myself for who I am now (to reclaim my very soul)…

I wish I could turn back time
…when I knew no betrayal
…when I felt no shame
…when I harbored no envy
…when I wasn’t cursed by pain.

I wish I could see through the eyes of a child…
where there lie and where I could see...
...exquisite beauty
...un-compromised affability
...loving kindness
...unsolicited gentleness
...honesty & benevolence

...glorious innocence
and in all simplicity... MAGNIFICENCE.
I wish I could…

-30-

2007-11-05T09:42:00.000+03:00

I got this from a friend's post in multiply ~(thankies Jan)~. Some interesting thoughts to ponder... had me question & re-rethink my past and RE-EVALUATE my point of view on relationships...hahaha. Oh well, happy reading! I'll leave it to u to decide...

*********

Source
1. Simple Infatuation: is often called a "crush" or "puppy love." It commonly strikes those in the early teens or younger. Usually the object of infatuation is some highly idealized person who is some years older - a teacher, an uncle or aunt, a friend of the family, an actor or an actress. Simple infatuation seldom lasts long. But infatuated people may be greatly moved with emotion. They spend much time in daydreams and wishful fantasies.

2. Romantic Infatuation: is often called "romantic love" or simply "love." It is a mix of sex and emotion - not genuine love at all. It will not of itself support a marriage. It also leads o idealizing the person, having a much stronger sex interest in each other, and justifying a premature marriage. Romantic infatuation is therefore very dangerous because people will easily fool themselves to act out their intense feelings and sex urges. Romantic infatuation is "false love," but it may develop into real love, but it will take a lot of time.

3. Sex Interest: is a deep biological drive that seeks some erotic expression. It is possible for people to enjoy sex with someone, yet have absolutely no other interest in them except sensual satisfaction.

4. Real Love: exists when your strong tender feelings for the other are balanced by reason and deep respect. You care just as much for the other person's welfare and fulfillment as you do for your own. Judgements about the person are quite objective and rational. The two of you have many values and ideas in common. You share similar goals and ideals. All these factors will probably be able to support and sustain a happy relationship over a long period of time. If you're infatuated , your emotions will be in charge. In real love, your reason is ruling your emotions. However, REAL LOVE and ROMANTIC INFATUATION are easily confusing people because they have one thing in common - strong feelings of attachment to the other person. Moreover, people in real love have some degree of infatuation and infatuated people have some degree of real love.

FACTS ABOUT LOVE AND INFATUATION

1 . Many divorces and unhappy marriages have roots of infatuation and sex interest only.
2. Most youth are not sure what real love is.
3. Age and maturity give no immunity of infatuation.
4. Teen marriages have twice the risk that they will end in divorces.
5 . Living together and have sex before marriage have tougher times to adjust after marriage.
6. One-sided loves won't work.
7. The following people are far more likely to have good marriage:
o Your parents are happy in their marriage
o You had a happy childhood
o There was a lack of conflict with mother
o There was a lack of conflict with father
o Home discipline was firm but not harsh
o You had a strong attachment to your mother
o You had a strong attachment to your father
o Your parents were frank with you about sex
o Your childhood punishment was infrequent and mild
o You have an expectant, positi ve attitude toward sex that is free from disgust or distaste.

Even if all of these factors are negative, you can still build a good marriage. But you will have
to work harder and be more careful in your mate choice.

8. Good Marriages need to have these five types of love:
o Strong sex interest: strong erotic feelings for each other
o Respect and admiration: hold each other in high regard
o Friendship and fellowship: have many things in common
o Self-giving devotion: love in spite of each other's faults
o Affection: a shoulder to cry on when our burdens are too heavy to bear alone.

THE FOURTEEN CLUES OF LOVE
Warnings about these clues:
1. The order is not important.
2. No clue can stand alone. All of them are important. Failing one or more does not mean you have to break up with your partner right away. It just means that you two are not ready for marriage and need more time to work them out.
3. One-sided loves won't work.

CLUE 1. What is the major attraction?

Infatuation: your main interest is likely to be the person's physical equipment. The main stress is on things you can perceive right away - what you can see, hear, smell, taste, or touch. A marriage based only on sex attraction will last no more than three to five years.

Real Love: your interest is in his or her total personality. Before marriage, ask yourself: "What's she going to look like in 30 years?" It is a sign of real love if the answer is, "She will still look beautiful because of her wonderful personality."

CLUE 2. How many factors attract?

Infatuation: the number of factors that attract you are relatively few. Just the smile? Just the pretty face? Just the lovely hair? Just the funny jokes?

Real Love: many or most qualities of the person - and the relationship - attract you. You like not only the way the person looks and talks, but the way he or she thinks and feels about things and other people.

Do you like the person's reactions to personal success? To failure? To tough challenges? To faults in his or herself, and in you or others? What about use of leisure time? And what about thoughtfulness, kindness, courage , temper, and temperament? Does the person have healthy and balanced attitude s toward money, sex, school, family, and friends? Toward the past and the future? What about bad habits?

Ask yourself two important questions:
1) How many of the countless characteristics of this person do I know enough about?
2) How many of those things do I find attractive?

It takes time and effort to know a person extremely well. Only then can you judge your reaction to the many, many facets of that person's nature. If many or most of those factors attract you, this tends to indicate real love. When the excitement and romance wear off in a marriage, you need lots of other interests in common to hold you together over the long pull. You need to like each other as well as love each other. It does not matter much that you like the same kind of pizzas and movies. It matters very much whether you agree on life- style and whether you want to have children, makes lots of money, or have two separate careers.

Two persons who are psychological opposites may attract and have a good marriage. Social opposites almost never do. It is alright for a dominant person to have a submissive mate. However, the greater the social difference s, e.g. a very rich and a very poor, the greater the dangers.
The more you two agree on these issues, the better your chances for success in marriage:

ROOTS: How similar are you as to: Social Class? Racial, national, and ethnic roots? City vs. country backgrounds? Religions?

VALUES : What is very important to you: Religion? Money? Social position and acceptance? Prestige? Sex before/after marr iage? Who decides?

CHILDREN: Do you like them? Want them? How many? What about birth control? If so, what kind? Who is responsible for it?

MONEY: How much is enough? Who will make it? Save it? For what? Spend it? On what? Who'll budget, pay bills, do the shopping? (More married couples fight about money than any other thing.)

SEX ROLES: Who'll make decisions? Will both work? Will you share home chores? If babies come, will the wife work outside the home?

WHERE AND HOW TO LIVE: Region? Rural or urban? Fancy or modest?

MAIN INTERESTS: Hobbies? Vocation plans? Education? Recreation likes and dislikes?

INVESTMENT IN YOUR FUTURE: What do you plan to do about war, pollution, poverty, and so on?

CONCEPTS OF MARRIAGE: Permanent? Trust and fidelity? Companionship?

MAJOR GOALS AND HOPES FOR THE FUTURE: What do you want out of life? How will you get there from here? Who can help?

COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Can the two of you work out differences? Can you talk over problems with honesty? Can you solve disputes without hurting each other? Do either of you get mad or get grumpy when things don't go your way? Do you feel free to share your true feelings, or do you hold back out of fear or lack of trust and
confidence? You'd best find out before you marry.

CLUE 3. How did it start?

Infatuation: tends to start fast. There is no such thing as love at first sight. A human personality is much too complex to permit that kind of instant insight. Your senses show you only the superficial, the shallow shell. Real love requires that you know and like the other person's whole self, and it takes time.

Real Love: starts slowly. Studies have shown that the longer the period of courtship and engagement, the better the chances for success in a marriage. There is no substitute for passing the test of time. A year is better than six months. Three years are better than two, five better than four. The quality of the time spent with each other is as important as the quantity. Understand that people can be great actors. We all tend to play games with one another, to appear to be what we are not. A couple might date for a long period, yet have only a shallow knowledge of each other. You need to find out what the person is like way down deep inside, beneath the display- window mask.

Caution to older people: People at late 20s are tempted to marry in haste.
Caution to young people: You are more likely to be infatuated than genuinely in love.

CLUE 4. How consistent is your level of interest?

Infatuation: a couple's interest in each other fluctuates a lot. One day you feel sure this is the right person for marriage. Then you develop doubts and wonder if the two of you should date others for a while, to test your feelings more. The reason is you are attracted to only a few things about the other person - probably physical and surface traits. Your interest in each other grew rather fast. The roots of such a Relationship are too thin to nourish it for long. Sex may also be the reason for lack of consistent interest. If a couple becomes involved in pleasurable sex behavior, their interest in each other may vary accordingly to the strength of their sex urge at any given time.

Real Love: the relationship tends to even out and interest in each other is consistent. If you don't reach the peaks of excitement so prevalent in infatuation, neither do you plunge to the depths. As time goes on, you come to count on your love. You know it will be there when you need it. That is not to say that in real love there is no Problems to solve, especially in the early stages of your courtship. Problems of adjustment cannot be avoided. But the longer you know each other, the easier it is to cope when you have real love. The best way to predict the future is to study closely the evidence from the past and the experience of the present. If you had a good relationship all last week, and the week before that, and the month before that, then you are more likely to have it next week, next month, and the year after that.

CLUE 5. How does it affect your personality?

Infatuation: causes a disorganizing and destructive effect on your personality. Infatuation makes you less effective, less efficient, less your real self. Infatuation is irresponsible and fails to consider the future consequenc es of today's actions. In such a condition, you might well lose your head and do things you wouldn't otherwise think of doing. You may even foul up your whole life.

One-sided love or infatuation and the PRINCIPLE OF LEAST INTEREST:

In a one-sided romance, the partner who has the least interest in continuing the affair is able to control the other person. That's because the one who is more involved has more at stake. No one should use another human being for selfish purposes, but people often do. E.g. a girl who doesn't care much for a boy may keep him just to build up her ego to have someone care so much for her. Or for a convenience that she can always count on him for a date if nobody else asks her. She knows he'll put up with shabby treatment because he's so emotionally involved. Or the boy may demand more sexual favors than his girlfriend wants to give.

Real Love: has an organizing and a constructive effect on your personality. It brings out the best in you. There is an intense and satisfying feeling of greater self-realization and expression, as well as a feeling of having one's own personality reinforced and strengthened and enriched. Love gives you new energy and ambition,and more interest in life. It is creative, brings an eagerness to grow, to improve, to work for worthy purposes and ideals. Love is associated with feelings of self-confidence, trust and security. Love lifted you to new levels of maturity and responsible action. When you love a person you make an effort to be more deserving of the beloved. You want your beloved to be proud of you, so you try harder. Life has more purpose. You make plans and save for the future. Life takes on new meaning, more sparkle.

What if you have loved and lost?
You may have had a real love relationship that did not result in marriage. Perhaps one or both of you did not recognize at the time that it was real love. Or some tragedy may have robbed you of your beloved. In spite of the pain of loss, you still are likely to be a better person for having had love. You can better understand yourse lf and be better prepared for finding success in your future relationships. You will be more mature. You grew through your love experience, and that growth will not all wither away. Whatever happened, real love will have an organizing and constructive effect on your personality.

CLUE 6. How and when does it end?

Infatuation: it stops the same way it starts - fast. The few things you do like about the other person - even those strongly held at first - begin to wear thin. All those other things you don't have in common begin more and more to rear their ugly heads. You begin to quarrels, conflicts, even fights, and then doubts about your "love." Soon you break up, UNLESS you and your partner become involved in mutually satisfying sexual relations. Then sex will frustrate the usual test of time. A good sexual relationship may hold a couple together as long as three to five years. But that's about it. Sex alone will not keep a couple together longer than that. MAKING UP THE TEST OF TIME if you are already involved in satisfying sex relations by stop doing it.

Real Love: it stops slowly. It will take long time to end a relationship and it will take long time to get over it. Love involves meshing many, many facets of two personalities. You grow together and become a unit. The person becomes a basic part of you, of your own personality. If a break comes, you are just not going to be the same. In fact, you may never quite get over it for as long as you live. That does not mean that you cannot love again. Social scientists are certain that there are a number of persons in this world with whom each of us normally can have a genuine, deep-seated love that will last.

CLU E 7. How do you see each other?

Infatuation: you live in a two- persons world. You two tend to neglect your family and pay little or no attention to your other friends. You turn a deaf ear to your teachers or your boss. You fail to do your homework. You lose interest in things that used to excite you. It becomes not only the most important thing in your world, but the only thing that really matters to you. Your relationship tend s to be exclusive. Your other friends feel left out, neglected, or ignored. Since this "romantic love" (infatuation) is of such central concern to you, nothing must be allowed to stand in its way. You think you are justified in giving up anything in favor of this amazing event that has happened so unexpectedly.

Infatuation is a vaccine that immunizes you against seeing anything wrong with the other person. You tend to idealized your partner. No one can tell you anything wrong about the object of your affections. At best, you won't believe it. At worst, you may turn against the accuser in anger and rejection. If you are infatuated, you defend the other person against all critics. You just will not admit that he or she has any faults. You idealize not only each other, but also your situation. You two may have gross problems and obstacles to cope with - different religions, hopes, values, family, and cultural backgrounds. Danger signals by the dozen! Yet you are not concerned. You don't even feel the need to think about these enormous hazards before marriage. You think that somehow it all just has to come out OK.

What makes us idealize so much? For one thing, we tend to be on our best behavior while courting. We show only our best side. Another reason is the ""halo effect," or the tendency to judge the whole personality largely in terms of one or two highly admired qualities. One great trait or two can fool us into thinking that the whole person is great as well. And sex gets into the act, too. One study showed that male subjects who were sexually aroused rated the pictures of the same girls to be much more attractive than did the same males when they were not aroused. So in infatuation, you'll tend to see what you want to see in the other person, rather than what is really there. LOVE IS NOT BLIND, INFATUATION IS.

IF IT'S LOVE, YOU ADMIT THEIR FAULTS BUT LOVE THE PERSON IN SPITE OF THEM. You see the person's real merits and build on that. A mutual process is set in motion. Your love leads you to appreciate the best in the other. In turn, as the other person learns of your love, it brings out the best in her or him. You are frank to admit that the other person is not perfect. But you see so much to be admired and respected that you can live with those faults.

Real Love: as with infatuation, in real love the beloved may well be the most important person in the world to you. But there's the big difference. In real love, you expand your world to include the beloved. If you really love each other, you don't abandon or neglect your other relationships. In stead, you just add this wonderful new relationship to all the others you have. It becomes a plus, not a replacement. You still maintain good ties with your family, your friends, your teachers. You retain your interest in your work or studies - assuming that you had such an interest in the first place. Things that you liked to do before, you still like to do. Your world grows larger, not narrower.

IS LOVE BLIND?

No, but infatuation is. Infatuation, like other extreme emotions such as anger, hate, and fear, distorts thinking. Only the passing of time will bring about gradual return to reality. When the ideal bubble bursts - and burst it will - pain and disillusionment sets
in.

A gain, it pays to be honest. Much of the pain and tragedy of romantic infatuation could be avoided if the couple would level with themselves and with each other. Instead, they hide their faults and misled the other into thinking they are something they are not.

For this they pay an awful price. Perhaps the most important reason for self-disclosure is that without it we cannot truly love. How can I love a person I don't know? How can the other person love me if he doesn't know me? The answer:
HONESTY IS A MUST.

We should behave like small children and "act our real selves." Perhaps this is what Jesus meant when he said one must become as a little child to enter the kingdom of God.

Time is the infatuated person's best friend. It is both the great revealer and the great healer. When your heart has been broken, time will heal the hurt.

Time also is the best antidote for the deadly poison of idealization. As interaction incre ases, knowledge converts the dream image into awareness of the real partner. Awareness punctures the dream bubble and brings the relationship down to earth. Time can shield you from plunging into an unsound marriage on the strength of a mere infatuation. Love that is time tested is the real thing.

2007-10-02T11:13:00.000+03:00

You're not my past.
Past is when there's moving on.

You're not my past;
still you are my present.

If dying right now preserves my love for you, then I'll gladly take it;
and an eternity filled with passion shall begin.

You're still not my past
Still for you, I am not any.

RE-POST: The Dancers' Plague

2007-09-23T16:25:00.000+03:00

..It's not the same as it used to be. Individuals who started to take up this art in the mid to late nineties can vouch for this. It was all about the things we did together outside of rehearsals that mattered most. We didnt care about staying past midnight because it was worth it. We didnt care what we wore as long as we all represented the same effort. Music selection was a mere representation of the mood we would all be in and competitions were just an excuse for all of us to perform.

Today, dancing has taken a dramatic turn. All of a sudden, the love of dance slowly began to diminish and the driving force to perform revolved solely around being the best and most original. And within a blink of an eye, competitions served only that purpose...to WIN. The dance scene rapidly morphed into a cult-like phenomena similar to that of adolescent southern beauty pageants. Dancers have become like hungry mothers with their teams. Wear the perfect outfit...apply the right make- up...carry yourself on stage with pride and confidence...smile...wow the crowd...be better than the other contestants....sound familiar? Don’t get me wrong, to certain degrees competition is good. It's what motivates many of us to do better. It is a natural human condition that we utilize for self improvement. It is when we make competition the burning core to which our world of dance revolves around that it creates a shady and shallow surface.

Loyalties have been betrayed; friendships lost; identities tangled.This has become an all too familiar fate for the new generation breed of dancers. They have no idea what it means to devote themselves to the cause. They claim to love the art, but what they mean to say is that they love how the art makes them look. But the moment something better breaks its way through, they're out the door. If we were to give up on everything we were doing each time something better came along the way, we would never get ANYTHING done. That is the story of life. There is nothing wrong with moving onto newer things. Challenges should always be embraced no matter what. But there is no use in trying to reach for the stars if you're not willing to climb the mountains that bring you closer to it. And then when you've reached that top and you're sitting there bleeding and bruised, that is when you've EARNED the right to pursue a bigger mountain. Dancers today think they can just tie on their new dunks and hop their way up into the stars not knowing what it actually takes to really become one. And it's sad.
But not all dancers are at fault for this. This new breed came into the dance scene when the artform was in full throttle. So for some of them, this is all they know. It's like a rich child growing up sheltered, naïve and ignorant to the welfare of society. Is it really their fault for only knowing the glamour of life? I presume it isn't. But if they don’t educate themselves on what it means to work and earn that lifestyle then they will never be able to fully reap the fulfillment of who they are, what they do, and most importantly: what they HAVE.

Who would have ever thought that we would invest so much of our time and energy into something that doesn't pay our bills or rent?? I know why...because we LOVE it. Dance is our escape from the bitter realities of the world. It is our refuge from the personal tyranny that haunts us from the inside. We learn a lot about ourselves in this process and we become humanly stronger because of it. It is a God-given talent we were blessed with and subconsciously we apply it metaphorically throughout life.

So ask yourself this...why do you dance? Why do you do it? Why???

It's Complicated

2007-09-01T16:49:00.000+03:00

I’ve realized that life is indeed full of contradictions. Sometimes it’s crazy to be sane, you need to fall to fly, people suffer because you care.

You have to unlearn to know the lesson, you have to give up because you are strong, you have to be wrong to make things right.

Nonetheless, life’s complexities are also life’s source of beauty. We should cry to laugh again, fall apart to be whole again, & get hurt to love again.

-boatmate

======================================================

[[[ Why can't we just go back to the good 'ol days when life ain't that complicated…when our happiness lies on a yummy pasalubong or a day-out in the park or a you've-been-such-a-good-girl-you-deserve-an-all-u-can-eat-Jollibee-treat! ]]]

Chronicles of a Breakup

2007-08-18T16:28:00.000+03:00

On love...found and lost... letting go... moving on... living life... starting over... and falling in love all over again.

The world is a great place. And being in love is one of the greatest feelings - tingles and everything. Conversely, having your heart broken sucks - big time! Two extreme emotions in the spectrum of love. Wouldn’t it have been much simpler if you had just stayed IN-love for the rest of your life? But that's not how the game of love is played. You'll never know that it's over until it's over. Sad thing is, whatever you do, you'll always be powerless against the twisted hands of fate. You'll just have to accept the bitter truth, swallow your pride and try your best not to be consumed by remorse and self-doubt.

Breakups are always hard - even the most amicable and mutual of separations - to both the dumper and the dumpee. And relationships that lasted for years are the hardest to come out of. The dumper is often plagued by feelings of guilt over breaking somebody's heart. Somebody whom the dumper deeply and genuinely(?) cared about. Countless days, nights, weeks or even months of thoughtful contemplation precedes THE "deed". The cons of staying in the relationship obviously outweighed the pros; hence, the unbelievably heart-wrenching but viciously honest final act of love is tendered. It is done. Au contraire for the dumpee, this is just the beginning. It’s like a rug has been pulled out from under you and your world has been turned upside-down. A swarm of overwhelming emotions torments you all at the same time – pain, fear, doubt, confusion, sadness, betrayal, etc. There are so many questions you want answered but you fear hearing them resolved with brutal honesty lest you get hurt even more. You feel sick… forlorn… dejected… abandoned… betrayed… empty… and miserably lost. But no matter what you do, the memory of love lost torments your every waking hour; then sleepless nights follow. You lose your appetite and your weight drops, your work suffers and even your other relationships take the back seat. You can’t seem to get a grip on things. You can’t take the first step because you don’t know how to. You blame the other woman…you blame your ex…you blame yourself. Sounds familiar? Well, this is the story of us all… of love and loss.

Oftentimes, we dwell in the past...endlessly torturing ourselves with thoughts of "I'm the one for him, he just can't see it now...but he will, eventually" or "Will I ever find another great love? Did I just lose my chance?" or "He'll come to his senses and when he does, I'll be right here waiting". Newsflash: Both of you may have been the greatest persons on earth, shared great chemistry, loved each other deeply; but now, you’re just not right for each other anymore. Because no matter how hard you try to cram your toes inside, if the shoe no longer fits – albeit it’s your favorite pair - it’s time to lay it aside and look for new ones. Thus, commencing your seemingly endless quest for that elusive perfect shoe.*** Truth of the matter is that: it’s called a breakup because it’s broken. Deny it all you want, but deep down inside, you know this to be true on some level. Feelings fade, people change and there’s nothing you can do about it – it’s a fact of life…offering no reason to numb the pain… this just is… the harsh but liberating truth. First step is acceptance. The best worst news is, you get to start over. You have full reign of your life. Enjoy this time while you can. Do all the things you have been thinking and planning to do but had no time – see the world, splurge, pamper yourself, catch up on your reading, reconnect with old friends. Because you’ll never know when love will come knocking on your door once again and the next relationship you’ll get into can be the one that lasts forever. However unthinkable these ”things” are, they do happen for a reason. It may be unfathomable to us now but all shall be revealed in time. Don’t go looking for answers that you know you’re not ready to be uncovered. Be patient… be still... better things will come. A perfect plan has already been laid out for you and all you have to do now... is wait. Don’t ruin your chance of finding your happy-ever-after by sticking it out with a relationship that you know has already been broken long before you even realize that it was.

Someday…somehow… things will fall in their rightful places. What’s meant to be, will ALWAYS find a way. But if it isn’t, live and let live… Be grateful for the fact that even once in your life, you have loved and have been genuinely loved in return. No regrets. No misgivings.

Let go... move on... live life... start anew... find love… and fall all over again.

And with William Ernest Henley, I’ll take my leave:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of Circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of Chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Good night.

*****

Soon to come...
My Breakup Diary
The Quest for the Perfect Shoe*** (to be co-authored w/ Ate Berns)

******

Quotable Quotes

© "I dream of you when I'm asleep, you even appear when I'm awake...daydreaming. There is no escaping you. I just wish it was true."

© "All that I am...all that I see...all that I dream and do are brighter, more beautiful and meaningful, because of my feelings for you."

© "You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth."

© "What's meant to be will always find a way."

© "You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end."

© "Never rush into falling in love, because love never runs out; let love be the one to knock at your door. Besides, true love is worth waiting for."

My Love Story: LOVE CONQUERS ALL

2007-08-08T16:35:00.000+03:00

Chie, Love Conquers All is your primary love story!

At its core, the Love Conquers All story is very romantic, triumphant, and full of courage to face yourself with honesty. The catalyst for change in your love story is usually a pivotal event, circumstance, or reevaluation of yourself.

Where should you look for these pivotal moments? Challenges may come from family and society — even yourself. Do loved ones disapprove of your partner, raise concerns you hadn't previously cared that much about? Turning points may also stem from previous obligations at work, or in promises you've made to others. Do you reschedule or delay plans with your partner because you feel the need to honor responsibilities at the office? Do you prioritize taking care of a friend in need over the needs of your mate?

These themes are echoed throughout history and recorded in diaries, novels, television and films. In Jane Austin's novel "Emma" for example, the protagonist put everybody else's romantic needs before her own. Had she not stopped to question herself, she would have missed a chance for love altogether. Was she just looking after her friends? Or was she guarding herself from the potential hurt of a relationship or unrequited love?

Ambition to be loyal to loved ones, move ahead at work, improve your home, see the world — these are all good things. But sometimes, they take precedence over your love life — whether you are conscious of it or not. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but think about it. Are you ever afraid of being held back from your goals? Or that a relationship might make attaining those goals a slower process, or change them completely?

Remember Nicolas Cage in the film "Family Man"? Through a strange twist of fate, he's given the opportunity to see life as it might have been had he gotten married instead of pursued successes at work. Though fantastical and magical, he experiences a jarring event, and through it, realizes he has different priorities. He would give up his important job and expensive belongings to be with the one woman he realizes he truly loves. And he realizes that his initial choice to pursue his career instead of pursue his relationship was driven not by his hopes for success, but his fear of taking on the seriousness of his relationship. With this insight, he has the courage to face himself, not preexisting hopes and goals.

Even if fate doesn't throw obstacles in your way, it's possible that you do. Do you shy away from romantic commitments? Do you make excuses for not dating? Do you wish your relationships never progressed passed the lovey-dovey stage? Are the people you date "all wrong" for you? There's a reason you're holding back from pursuing a good thing. You may put excuses between you and another person, or you may intentionally pick the wrong person to give you an out, an alternative to getting serious. The real courage in your love story comes from taking a good look at yourself, and questioning your motivations.

Once you recognize this as your story, you will indeed have the courage and the insight to question yourself and make a commitment, or break with someone before external events force you to. In this manner, Courage is one of the most noble and truthful love stories out there.

In "Notting Hill," Julia Roberts plays a movie star whose career (not to mention awful boyfriend) get in the way of a fledgling romance with a London bookseller (Hugh Grant). In "Autumn in New York," a cheating playboy played by Richard Gere finds himself in love with a dying 22-year-old. Will he mend his ways before it's too late? The love story that drives these plots is the same that drives your fantasies and relationships, which is why these stories can be so powerful. Of course, in the movies it's always clear just whom the lead person should hook up with. In real life, it's quite a bit harder. Love Conquers All, and now you're equipped to find it.

All Hail the Hopeless...Ooops!...Idealistic Romantics!!!

2007-08-08T15:05:00.000+03:00

Chie, when you're head over heels, you are an Idealistic Romantic!

The rituals of romance are important to you. And for that reason, if the object of your affections doesn't appreciate the value of things like red roses and candlelight dinners, they might not hold your interest for very long. However, you're not just looking for a thoughtful date who appreciates romantic gestures. You seek a deeper emotional bond.Once you find that special love, you'll probably be the first to declare that you're head-over-heels rather than hold back you're emotions. After all, what good is being in love if you can't share it?

Love does change you. Whether it simply enhances who you already are, or makes you a completely different person, finding someone whose love personality compliments your own makes for the longest, happiest relationships.

****
How so very true. *sigh*

I see Green!

2007-08-06T09:29:00.000+03:00

When the results did not yield purple-lilac-violet-periwinkle or lavender, I was a wee-bit disappointed. Oh alright, not just a tad...a bit...a pinch but totally downtrodden (pardon the melodrama). The thing that got to me really was that it wasn't even blue or red or even pink...it was GREEN! Of all the colors, my one true color was green! There has to be some mistake, so I re-took the test (just to somehow appease my bludgeoning mind) without even a glimpse on the explanation below it. With some minor alterations on my previous answers – those which I had second thoughts on my first try – I clicked on the submit button with eager anticipation. But much to my dismay, there it was again…that undesirable word in bold, impudent, tauntingly lettered G-R-E-E-N! My thoughts were dispersed in sporadic details…

Me…green…envy…jealousy…suspicion…distrust…moolah…

As I conceded, I read on… shedding light to my convoluted mind… banishing all malevolent associations…then, slowly turning my frown upside down with the unraveling of the mystery behind the formerly undesirable color that was…GREEN!

Chie, your true color is Green!
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle

The Goddess in Me

2007-08-05T18:24:00.000+03:00

SIREN?!?!?! Couldn't believe it either. I actually re-took this test desparately wanting to unravel a different goddess that resides in deep slumber within my beautiful self. But, heaven forbid, the enchanting voice of this mesmerizing creature is definitely lost in me... but if siren = fashion goddess...so be it. No contest in that.

Chie, you're Siren!
Like the beautiful sea mermaids who've swum before you, Siren, you certainly have a way of drawing people in. Whether wooing a crush with your alluring voice or impressing someone with your unique take on the world, you're sure to captivate more than your share of audiences.It must be the balance between your glittering personality and your individual style that keeps friends and family enamored by your presence. From being able to predict next season's "it" color to pairing leopard print with plaid before it hits the pages of Vogue, people see you as a fashion goddess. You may not want to admit it, but you're part trendsetter and people look to you for direction. Of course, you know there's more to life than shopping for the latest adorable accessory. You pursue success in all aspects of life — from offering creative insights at work to running marathons. You have big dreams, Siren, and by keeping them in sharp focus, you're sure to come out a winner.

What's Your Goddess Identity?
Brought to you by Tickle

2007-08-05T18:03:00.000+03:00

We all know our IQ's and EQ's but I didn't have an inkling that there exists such a thing called "Relationship IQ"... Anyways, just went along with this one. Don't even know what my score means!Reliability...nada. Accuracy...zilch. Fun and enjoyment... will do. So, what the heck!

You're a Communicating!
Chie, your Relationship IQ is 122

Your Relationship IQ score is a number that measures your general knowledge of how people should behave in relationships. But we also took a look at how you behave in your relationships. Your test results tell us that your greatest relationship strength is communicating with your partner while your weakest is accepting your partner's differences.

The Relationship IQ Test
Brought to you by Tickle

2007-08-05T15:37:00.001+03:00

You're a Facts Curator!
Your IQ score is 126

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Facts Curator. This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You've got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

The Classic IQ Test
Brought to you by Tickle

Pretty in Pink

2007-08-05T15:37:00.000+03:00

Chie, your signature color is Pink Chiffon!

There's nothing saccharine about you — your sweetness is one hundred percent natural! A gentle, thoughtful romantic like you must be paired with a color that's soft and warm — but still has a subtle sophisticated sheen. That's why Pink Chiffon is the perfect color for you! You're probably known for making the most of every situation and trying to see the best in people. But while you may be cheerful and innocent at times, you're nobody's fool. You may see the world through rose-colored glasses, but you can still see, after all.While you make wise insights time after time, it's probably your good nature and perpetual optimism that are what you're known for and what make you a joy to be around. Even those who sometimes make fun of your Pollyanna-like proclamations will turn to you when they need a friend and some cheering up. So keep pink, Chiffon. With you around, the world's a better place!

What's Your Signature Color?
Brought to you by Tickle

2007-08-01T12:16:00.000+03:00

Broken stained-glass windows, the fragments ramble on
Tales of broken souls, an eternity's been won
As critics scorn the thoughts and works of mortal man
My eyes are drawn to you in awe once again

In your picture book I'm trying hard to see
Turning endless pages of this tragedy
Sculpting every move you compose a symphony
And you plead to everyone, "see the art in me"

The ART of Letting Go

2007-07-21T11:24:00.001+03:00

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off;
it's the realization that i don't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to to try to become what i dream i can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and to love more.

NOTHING WITHOUT YOU...

2007-07-21T11:24:00.000+03:00

it's the quiet night that breaks me,I cannot stand the sight of this familiar place
it's the quiet night that breaks me, like a dozen papercuts that only I can trace
all my books are lying useless now
all my maps will only show me how to lose my way.

oh call my name. you know my name
and in that sound, everything will change
tell me it won't always be this hard
I am nothing without you, but I don't know who you are.

it's the crowded room that breaks me, everybody looks so luminous, and strangely young
it's the crowded room that's never heard, no one here can say a word of my native tongue
I can't be among them anymore
I fold myself away before it burns me numb.

oh call my name. you know my name
and in that sound, everything will change
tell me it won't always be this hard
I am nothing without you, but I don't know who you are.

I am nothing without you, but I don't know who you are....

Untitled

2007-07-11T15:55:00.000+03:00

There are just nights when you feel that no matter how many stars there are in the galaxy,
there is never enough light to fill the sadness of the sky.
You hope and wait for that brightest star to finally come to light up your world.
But in the end, there's only coldness encompassing emptiness in its arms.
Dig within yourself and you'd find all the strength that you would ever need.
Strength to move... Move away from what you have always known.
And you'll discover that brightness is only just a relative word.

******

=====>>>>A simple reminder to the one who have written these inspiring words for me to hold onto while drifting along these wide open spaces. To a fellow hopeless romantic who believes in happy-ever-afters. When you've returned from your quest, don't forget to hollerback...<<<<<=====

2007-07-08T19:38:00.000+03:00

FOUND THIS IN ONE OF MY HS FRIEND'S BLOG...TALK ABOUT JOLOGS!!!! BUT HEY, WE ALL HAVE OUR MOMENTS NAMAN DIBA? PAGBIGYAN NA... READ THROUGH FROM TOP TO BOTTOM MUNA THEN SAKA KAYO MAG-JUDGE. I DARE ANYONE WHO DISAGREES. HEHE. ENJOY =)

"This is dedicated to the one person I know who ultimately believes in love...whose faith never wavered. For all the love you've given. For all the heartaches and pain. For everything... don't ever change. Believe. You're far
stronger than you think. You've been such an inspiration. Thank you for the sense of belongingness."

***

MAHAL MO NGA BA SIYA?

para sa mga taong nanliligaw, nagbabalak manligaw, nililigawan, naliligaw, nag-iintay maligawan at nagbabalak lumagay sa magulo..........
ang love ay hindi minamadali...
hindi pinipilit..at lalong hindi kina-career...aray ko
unang-una...
PAANO MO BA NASABING MAHAL MO NA SIYA???...
dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???...
o kaya naman naaaliw ka???...
naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya???...
kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???...
at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses niya???...
eh teka muna...baka naman infatuated ka lang....
o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo...
BAKA naaaliw ka lang...
dahil kakaiba siya...
may spark na hindi mo maintindihan...
tsk!!!...
ang saklap nyan!...
pangalawa...
GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA???...
madali ba siyang mapikon???...
pano ba siya mabadtrip???...
madali bang mahalata na may topak siya???...
ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???...
shorts ba o pantalon???...
nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???...
matagal ba siyang maligo???....
kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???...
tamad ba siya???...
mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magbasa ng libro???...
nagpe-playstation ba siya???...
tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki???...
makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???...
green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???...
sa village ba siya nakatira???...
may sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa kanila???...
nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???...
kasama ba yung pamilya niya???...
at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???...
in short...
alam mo na nga ba???...
ang mga bagay-bagay...
ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...
na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya...
s in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...
pangatlo...
KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN???...
as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo...
sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay...
sa lahat ng katopakan niya...
sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya...
sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at gagawin pa lang niya...
sa lahat ng naiisip niya...
sa lahat ng sasabihin niya...
sa kilos niya...
sa pananamit pa pala niya...
sa pagsasalita...
sa pananaw niya sa buhay...
sa pagtrato niya sa tao...
sa lifestyle niya...
sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya...
sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya...
sa style niya pagdating sa love...
sa kasweetan niyang natural...
sa paglalambing niya...
sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas...
sa manners niya...
sa bisyo niya kung meron man...
sa mga pang-aasar niya sayo...
sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng problema...
sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...
pang-apat...
KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO???...
kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo...
na kasama pa rin siya ha...sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh...
mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...
nang dahil din sa kanya???...
kaya mo bang magmukhang t****...
as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan...
ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo...
kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...
as in kahit sa harapan niya???...
kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo siya???...
yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakielam...
mawala man ang manners mo...
na wala ka naman talaga...
in short...
KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG KASAMA MO NA SIYA???...
yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga...
dahil alam mong...
HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP...TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA...BUONG-BUO RIN...
PEOPLE!!!...
tama na kasi ang trip...
tama na ang pagmamadali...
oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao...
pero diba mas masarap yun...
LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG TOTOO YUNGNARARAMDAMAN MO. ...
kaya dapat, hinde tayo nagpapabulag sa akala nating LOVE....
mag antay na lang tayo....
wag natin unahan....
for all we know, nde pa pala cya ang para sa atin......
pero pag nasagot mo lahat ng nasa taas....
baka nga mahal mo na cya....

2007-07-08T18:25:00.000+03:00

it's true. no matter where we are in the world, no matter the distance, the time difference and well,how many oceans or even continents that separate us from the people we love...if they want to reach us...if they want to talk to us, see us, get ahold of us...they will. if we want to find them, be with them..see them...talk to them...we will.

if we want something sooo bad, who can stop us from getting them?

it scares me to think how powerful we can really be...if we set our hearts and minds onto something...the possibilities are just...limitless.

***

limits.

how far are we willing to go? how long till we figure out that it's not even worth the fight...and that we've actually reached our limits..and pushing it even further would mean tittering towards the boundaries of stupidity.

do we need to wait for the time when we wake up one morning and feel totally disappointed...even to the point of being disgusted...to be slapped in the face of what abomination we've been subjecting ourselves to?

***

scary world out there.

***

i need to get myself back.

***

its not to the left. this time, let's do it right ;-)

Note: (thanks to a long-lost-once-again-found-honest-to-goodness-vivacious-girlfriend...stay fab, ste!)

Road to Insignificance

2007-07-01T12:13:00.000+03:00

(The Dreaded Countdown)

JUNE
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28th
(D-Day: Dooms day or Deliverance Day?)

Silence
…
Stillness
…
Oblivion
…
Insignificance

…the end?

29
Survived…
A new quest has begun.

==> Confessions <==

2007-06-27T12:52:00.000+03:00

The gentle breeze surrounding me,
The sound tranquility of the rolling ocean waves,
The serene beauty of the crimson sunset,
The rejuvenating feel of the sand on my feet as I walk along the endless shore,
Nothing… compared to you.

The sweet enticing scent of a freshly-picked rose,
The unrivaled crispness of snow as it falls, descends and kisses my little nose
The tiny soothing raindrops trickling down my face,
The love offered by everyone around me,
Nothing… compared to you.

Nothing in this world
Can compare to the way I feel for you..
The way I fly when I'm with you
The sheer longing when I'm without you.

Nothing can compare to your warm presence, your soft doting kisses and your comforting embrace
I would give everything... to feel your love once again.

Because...Nothing… absolutely nothing…
And...No one… undoubtedly no one can compare to you.
No one… absolutely no one...
Can EVER BE you.

-30-

The Story Behind the Lone White Rose

2007-06-20T16:14:00.000+03:00

June 20th....

1 long-stemmed white rose...

flower of pure intention...

well-intended thoughts resulting in a sordid confrontation.

confrontation between friends...

friends turned into lovers...

lovers against all odds...

all odds conquered (withstanding the test of time).

bereft with love undone...

friends no longer...

strangers once again...

20 June...four years after.

-30-

Tonight I Can Write

2007-06-20T15:46:00.000+03:00

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing.
In the distance.My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

By: Pablo Neruda

Random thoughts on Love... Love-lost... Wanderings... Letting Go...Moving on & the Pursuit to Happiness!

2007-06-13T19:50:00.002+03:00

***

"Leaving a love you've suddenly outgrown can be heartbreaking, but it also shows you're strong enough to walk away from a relationship that no longer makes you happy. Moving out of your comfort zone can be downright scary, but it also proves just how brave you are to take on the unknown. Stronger, braver, wiser. You always do a little growing up everytime you do a little letting go."

-Oprah

****

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred.

Free your mind from worries.

Live simply.

Give more.

Expect less.

*****

"Do you think love is a choice or by chance?"

"It’s by chance. If you fall in love, you don’t exactly have a choice do you?"

"For me it’s a bit of both. A chance meeting with someone is still a choice. For example you met that person in the street; both of you chose to take the same route and when you bumped into each other, it became a chance encounter. You don't fall in love by chance. It's still up to you if you really want to love this person, murder charges and all or not. Our minds like to play tricks on us that's why we think we couldn't help falling in love. Contrary to what books and movies had us believe, love is a decision and not just a mere feeling."

"I’m not going to argue with you on that. At some level, I agree with you. But what brought on this sudden insight?"

"It’s not sudden. I said that almost a year ago when a friend asked me the same question. I realized I wasn’t completely right. You can’t decide not to fall in love."

"Is it so bad to let go and give in?"

"To fall in love is to create a religion with a fallible god. I don’t remember who spoke these words. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that it is true. I did fall in love. But you are not fallible yet."

******

Happiness comes in many forms. In the company of good friends. In the company of someone special that came into your life when you least expect it. In the feeling that you get when you make someone elses dream come true. Or in the promise of hope and love renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy. Because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.

MEN ARE FROM MARS, LIBRANS ARE FROM VENUS (",)

2007-06-11T14:20:00.000+03:00

General characteristics of the sign Libra:
Libra are focussed on the other, the surroundings, and the company. (didn’t quite get this) They are social, honest, like to have contact with people. They are not very good at living alone. Are inclined to do what others want, to spoil the others and to get along with them (in short… uto-uto. =) so far, so true). They have little willpower and perseverance (uyy! Di naman!). They can put themselves in somebody else's shoes, can’t stand discord, want to keep the peace al the time (peace men). They want order and rule in their life and try to avoid unpleasant situations at any price and like to be honest. They become nervous by controversy and violence, can’t live in disharmony and uncivilised surroundings i They have an aversion for ugly objects, rough language, bad manners and inappropriate colours (bawal ang chaka! Arte talaga!hehe). They love having others do things for them, like to be spoiled and always have someone around who will do the dirty and nasty jobs for them(if you can get away with it, why not?!?). It is their charming nature that gets away with it(Whaaaaat?!?!?). They stand up for those who have been treated wrongly (This I can vouch for. Saktan nyo na ako wag lang ang mga taong mahal ko. Or kahit sa common tao, when I see that the game is played unfairly... warfreak mode na ito!). They are very good defenders, adjudicators, and mediators. They can bring parties together again. They are balance-seekers, make compromises gladly and speak through their hearts, not only emotionally but also intellectually (finally! A note on ones intellectual capacity. Something worth mentioning). They don’t condemn, they are peacemakers. They are always pleasant and polite, of good will and give in easily, but they are not always real. They can say one thing, but mean something else (doble-kara? Di naman. Siguro at times, when we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, we tend to “sugarcoat” the things that we say.Sortakinda wthitelie lang kumbaga). They talk around a subject but they never say what they really want(hehe. Minsan kasi dyahe aminin yung totoong nararamdaman. Especially when you know that the other person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Mag-beat around the bush nalang). They love material goods, are good in arranging a house and have good taste (nice…). It comes out in the feeling for colours and proportions. They love beautiful things, have an eye for quality; only want to buy the most expensive and best things (some things you go for quality and aesthetic value, but some things you just have to go with practicality). They also love physical beauty; a partner must be especially good looking and be a "somebody"(hehe… I plead guilty as charged. Partner has to be at least cute. Hehe.). Many Libras are mannequins. They love a quiet and pleasant life, can be artistic, often play piano or violin and love flower arrangements (Martha Stewart is that you?!)). They like to talk and negotiate, consider things, reconsider, exchange views/ideas. A Libra has difficulties in making decisions, must always weigh one's words, must always compare (tumpak!). They are always in company, can walk along with anybody, especially with those who are wealthy or who are "important"(Important: “Company” must be able to indulge in a voracious tirade of ideas. Social status is definitely NOT an issue. Basta non-sensical and provocative yung discussion… go ako! I hate boring people. But even worse are those that talk in circles. Yung walang pinatutunguhan usapan kasi paulit-ulit lang). But they also need time for themselves. Music is very important for Libra, they love it and it gives them energy and inner balance (just recently discovered the beauty of music and the serenity it offers. Book person kasi ako e). They also love beautiful soft colours (just as long as it’s purple, lilac, violet, periwinkle. hehe). They lack self-confidence, always need a pat on the back, always need to be encouraged and when that does not happen, they become uncertain and depressed (Define insecure!). They are never aggressive but can be quite negative (At pessimistic pa!). They need confirmation constantly. That uncertainty comes to the foreground especially if they have to make a decision. They can’t make decisions and can’t choose (Oo noh! Lalo na if ang choices ranges from the super cool strappy sandals that I so wanted and the platform shoes that matches my new top. Major shopping dilemma. Solution: Buy both! Always works! Never fails). They attach too much importance to material things, and therefore neglect the intellectual life (Gusto mo away! Ano daw?! Over my dead gorgeous body! Will never be an airhead!). It’s easy to flatter them (true. Mababw lang kaligayahan ko e); they can’t stand criticism, especially not from their friends (ouch!). Of all the signs Libra are the ones who can enjoy life the most. They are very pleasant people to get along with. They can sacrifice themselves to keep the peace and approach people with kindness (As I’ve said, great love are measured in great sacrifices). They don’t lack friends, are generally popular. They always looks well, are generally good looking, might have a dimple in the chin or in the cheeks (haba ng hair!). They are charming and quickly become the centre of attention in a group. They love flirting and showing themselves off (uhmm..dati siguro). They are very good in taking the initiative in a relationship (yep!). They love getting attention and are the life of a party. One of their big fears is not being accepted by others, it’s terrible for them when they are ignored (Super KSP talaga! Pero di nga, sometimes kaya I hesitate to make the first move to greet someone dahil sa fear of rejection). If they can hang around whilst visiting someone, then they are in their element. Libra uses their charms to reach their aim (Have yet to fully discover this awesome power!). They can make you fall in love with them to get what they want (Nyak!). They can also let others do things that they dare not do themselves (Charm and hypnotism?!? Hmmm….). Then they can make a helpless impression but in the meantime everything gets done (damsel-in-distress?). They never quarrel but will let a person know, in a sensitive way, that they are not happy.

In a profession, Libra need work in which they can be creative. A profession that has to do with acting (?!?-never in my wildest dreams!), which would suit them, or working with soft beautiful material(mananahi?). They can also have talent in the musical area (this definitely evaded me! can’t carry a tune.hehe). They are very suitable for work in which they can express their charms(that word again!). Such as hostess or host, T.V.- announcer, guide or receptionist in i.e. a hotel. Also for professions which have to do with appearances (whaaaaaaattt?!?), i.e. beauty care, plastic surgery, make-up artist, or the making of beautiful hairpieces, and of course also in professions in which they can mediate. They are very hospitable, and tend to spoil their guests. What they like the most is having dinner outside, be well dressed, show them off, to be served, preferably with a good-looking partner, and rather in a restaurant where you can meet important or well-known people (socialera!). They also love to go to openings. They feel themselves at ease everywhere (artistahin pa!). They love to flirt and being in love (Need I say more?). That is very important for Libra (Bow.).

The health of Libra
Libra's weakest spots are the eyes, the kidneys, and they can suffer from gout, cold on the bladder (?!?), kidney inflammation, migraine, and problems with blood circulation. Libra is sensitive for draught(huh?). Because of this they can easily get a throat or ear inflammation. If they get too tired Libra can get into trouble with intestinal/abdominal disorders (pakikonek nga po…pagod tsaka sakit sa tyan.). They can suffer from depression and can’t see the light of day from time to time (haha. guilty as charged). If they get love and attention, this can pass quickly (in short, KSP). Libra can suffer if there is no LOVE in their life (para namang sobrang desperado na ang dramang ito). Libra doesn’t give too much attention to food (ang sekreto sa pagpapapayat!); relationships and parties are more important (di naman masyado…slight lang). They must watch out for cosmetic remedies, this can cause skin problems. Lots of sleep and rest is a must. Libra needs the sun and especially contact with others. The sport which suits Libra the best is: dancing (no objections on this one) and figure skating (I used to dream of being a figure skater…feeling ko ako yung bida sa Ice Castles; but never did have the time to even don a pair of skates), at least if they can show discipline.

External characteristic:
Often a beautiful body, tall and slim. Generally dark hair and dark eyes, straight nose, an honest and open glance. Harmonious facial features. Dimple in the chin or cheeks. – Shocks! na-shy naman ako. Pero, straight nose? Nah! At least, 9/10 ako. =) …’chos!

Professions:
Violist (?!?), hairdresser, jeweller, diplomat, actor (?@#!?), receptionist, auctioneer, appraiser, hostess, make-up artist, TV announcer, photographic model(ano daw?!?), plastic surgeon, artist, guide, lawyer, judge. Employment agency, marriage bureau, beauty specialist, ballet dancer. Salesman of luxuriously articles or home furnishing. Professions where beauty (ows?!?)and contractual qualities play a role.

Love life:
It is not easy for Libra to live alone, they need somebody else to feel happy, need a lot of attention and compliments, want to be desired most of the time and to be attached and adored (painstakingly true!matulog nga lang mag-isa di ko carry…dati. huhuhu)Libra will find another lover if there is a quarrel and disharmony or when the attention to the relationship diminishes (I beg to differ ha.). Libra has the inclination to spoil the loved one (super spoiled...as in! Talk about generosity). They love to have a partner who is wealthy, because they need much for themselves, loves luxury, beautiful things, nice and expensive food and especially beautiful clothes(ano ito!gold-digger ang drama? “Loves beautiful clothes”-dito lang tumama eh! ). Libra are condescending, even-tempered, elusive, need harmonious relationships, are attentive in love(oh so true), but not always faithful(oist! Soooo not true! Forever faithful ako!).

Suitable life partner: Gemini and Aquarius.

colour: bright green(eeek!), pink, purple (at talagang isiningit ito)
stone: jade, emerald, turquoise, adventuring (?!@#???!)
fauna: deer, nightingale, dove, lizard, snake
flora: wild berry, violet, lily of the valley, white lilac, lilies(ang galing! Lilies are my absolute fave flowers!)
country: Austria, Egypt
metal: copper
lucky#: 6 and 9
day: Friday
sport: surfing
tarot card: justice
planet: Venus(at magmaganda daw talaga.hehe)

2007-06-10T22:30:00.000+03:00

"As we grow older, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast...you'll realize you can no longer hold onto the past yet you can't feel ever living in the present and you see the future slowly slipping away. Inevitably, you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much til your tummy hurts, sing to your heart's content, dance like nobody's watching, live each moment like there's no tomorrow and LOVE like you've never been hurt before. Because every sixty seconds you spend upset and aggravated, is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

But for those of us who are only momentarily "drifting", find solace in the arms of faith, take comfort in the wings of hope and feel empowered in the prospect of a greater love."

Untitled

2007-06-10T16:08:00.000+03:00

Not just my princess, you're my angel
And i could stare through your eyes forever
So i wish to wake up beside you in every sunrise
And if it won't be now help me find a way somehow

I'll wait for you, i'll die without you
I'll be by your side through space and tides much longer than time

You're the riddle's answer
The last piece of the puzzle
So i wish to walk with you along the sunset-lit shore
And if it won't be now help me find a way somehow

I'll wait for you, i'll die without you
I'll be by your side through space and tides much longer than time
Please hold on, don't leave me, don't give up on me, let me be everything that you ask of me,
It will never be perfect, it may not be smooth, but i promise you i'll make things right for us soon

They wove the threads

Made them into ropes
And from opposite poles
We got to tie them both
Then they lit a match
Burned what was tied
We blew the flame
But it didn't die

So i'll, i'll wait for you,i'll die without you

I'll be by your side through space and tides much longer than time
You're the one...

I adore you...

You are my bliss.

By: Greyhoundz

RAMBLINGS OF A BROKEN HEART

2007-06-05T18:30:00.000+03:00

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
~anais nin~

IF ONLY….
==>you<==

If only I paid more attention when she was telling me how much she loved me.
If only I told her how much I really appreciated all her efforts in orchestrating every monthsary, anniversary, birthday or even the “just-because” surprises she lovingly spoiled me.
If only I valued all the times we spent together and not waste any second of it fighting over the silliest things.
If only I didn’t complain so much about her annoying fetishes and just let her be.
If only I showered her with more attention during those times that she badly needed me.
If only I enjoyed to the fullest every date she took me out to, every movie we watched, and every resto we dined in.
If only I relished every sweet kiss, every loving touch, every comforting embrace.
If only I melted in every meaningful stare.
If only I savored every softly-whispered “I love you” and the million times she said “I miss you”.
If only I lingered in the pure bliss of her ecstasy.
If only…
...YOU were still mine.

IF I COULD ONLY…
==>me<==

If I could only hear another sweet I love you.
Celebrate another monthsary… one more anniversary…with you...
And begin to count our years together...once again.

If I could only feel your mesmerizing gaze that melts my heart and weakens my will...
Or sense your lingering touches…
Taste your soft, passionate kisses…
And be in your loving presence...once again.

If I could only hear you sing another song that caresses my heart and touches my soul...
As your fingers strum each chord with dedicated purpose…
Your voice resonating in my head and through my very core…

If I could only stop the world from spinning… revisit the past and rewrite each bittersweet memory of our love into an unending fairy tale.
If only I could turn back time and re-live all those happy moments we shared together.
If only I could....
…STAY.

-30-

BROKEN PURPLE

2007-05-27T19:35:00.001+03:00

Feelings fade, people change.
Nothing remains unchanged - even the strongest of feelings.
Love is naught unless you fight ‘til the bitter end.
Faced with the crossroad that is your own -
Go down the wire and through the fire… burdened by the cross of betrayal
Or breakfree from the chains of misery and set your love free…
Unbound your heart, release your soul, watch him fly…
Hold no longer. Let go.

Pain begets hope.
Hope to find light at the end of your darkest day.
Life is a journey.
Live life lest you wither into nothingness…
Stay.

The choice is no one but ours to make…No one but ours to face.
Be strong.
Take heed.
Make a stand.
Have faith.
Believe.
And LOVE…once again.

-30-

INSATIABLE

2007-05-25T14:45:00.000+03:00

I remember my Prof in Psych saying that a man's wants and desires are endless. Our list of what "I want to buy", "what I want to have", "what I want to achieve", "what I want to become" or just simply "what i want" can go on forever.

When I was in elementary I couldn't wait to get to high school and be able to enjoy the so-called "highschool life". In highschool, I counted the days when I can pack my bags and live the life of independence that college has to offer. In college, I wanted to be everything... CEAT's college scholar (I only made it to honor roll), everybody's friend (BS Org nga ako e), a power-dancer (at least I tried to be & made it to the CORE group that became SOP champs), the best organizer and orchestrator of all the activities of the UPLB SJazz clan (the mind behind it all), and last but certainly not the least I did my best to be the perfect gf.

I did everything in my power to get everything that I wanted. After college, I thought I had it all...a perfect job, a perfectly planned future, a perfect partner who means the world to me and loves me unconditionally, a perfect life. Or so I thought.

Why's it that when we earn just enough to survive, we aim for a more lucrative job. After landing that dream job, we seek for other employment opportunities that offer better benefits. After getting all the benefits anyone can ask for, we still try to scout for a more challenging post. What is there left to take?

When we have fairly enough money to buy anything we want, we want more money to buy all the other things that we think we want. And even after getting all those things, we still find ourselves looking for extra jobs, accepting loads & loads of overtime, channeling our business skills to look for other sources of income. And for what? To get the newest Nokia cellphone (whose value depreciates faster than you can blink), to buy a new pair of Manolo Blahnik's or Jimmy Choo's that you've been eyeing for months, or so you can afford another getaway trip to Bora? Then, what's next in your unending wish list?

When we were single we secretly prayed for our prince charming to come and carry us off to our happy-ever-after. We prepare ourselves for that one person, so that when our one great love comes, we can offer ourselves whole..not wanting anything else...not desiring anything more... not looking for what is not there. We enjoy the bliss of love, togetherness & loyalty. We do all things as one. We are bounded by this inexplicable feeling that drives us to be the best possible person we can be for our partner. We plan to spend our lives together... forevermore. But for some reason, when we are already in a secured, stable and loving relationship, we tend to think of all the "what ifs" and "what could have been". We long for the "magic" that has been lost in the essence of fondness and familiarity. We envision that love should last for a lifetime. And when we don't "feel" the love that we used to know, is it reason enough to say that you have fallen out of love? That somehow, love has been lost in the many years that you have been together. It was inevitably consumed... prodding you on to begin another search of that lost feeling... to find love once again.

Do we then just turn our backs to our one great love? How sure are we that what's out there is what(who) we want? What if the very person you're trying so hard to look for, is already the very same person standing right in front of you? Is it worth giving up your forever for?

And if you decide to take the jump...take the risk...How do you then say goodbye to the person you promised forever to?

HAPPINESS 101

2007-05-14T18:06:00.000+03:00

HAPPINESS. Lately, I have been puzzled by this word - as to what exactly is its meaning. How can you define the feeling of being happy? Is it something that you experience on your own or do you need an external force to be familiar with it? Is it a lasting feeling or just a fleeting emotion? Is it exactly the way we understand it…a feeling, an abstract emotion, a vague quantification of a state of mind? So I did a little research. Here’s what I found from a very reliable source…the mother of all linguists and etymologists, Merriam-Webster. HAPPINESS is:

Pronunciation: 'ha-pE-n&s
Function: noun
Definition: 1 a feeling or state of well-being and contentment
2 a: JOY b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience
3 the feeling experienced when one's wishes are met -- see PLEASURE

Synonyms blessedness, bliss, blissfulness, felicity, gladness, joy
Related Words elatedness, elation, exhilaration, exultation, intoxication; ecstasy, euphoria, heaven, rapture, rapturousness; delectation, delight, enjoyment, pleasure; cheer, cheerfulness, exuberance, gaiety (also gayety), gladsomeness, glee, gleefulness, jollity, joyfulness, joyousness, jubilation, lightheartedness; content, contentedness, gratification, satisfaction
Near Antonyms anguish, desolation, joylessness, sorrow, woe, woefulness; blues, dejection, depression, despondency, disheartenment, dispiritedness, doldrums, downheartedness, gloom, gloominess, melancholy, mournfulness
Antonyms misery, sadness, unhappiness, wretchedness

I have previously claimed that finding happiness is ones prerogative. It’s your choice. But, come to think of it, can you really will yourself to be happy? After losing a very important person in my life, I have come to value things that I have long taken for granted. I kept thinking about those “happy moments”… If only I relished every sweet kiss, every loving touch, every comforting embrace. If only I melted in every meaningful stare. If only I savored every sweet“I love you” and every lovingly uttered “I miss you”. If only I wallowed in the pure bliss of his ecstasy. If only I could turn back time and re-live all those happy moments we had together. If only…

Is happiness relative?
Is it relative to a person who makes you smile, tickles your funny bones, touches your heart and gives you that tingling feeling down your spine? Is it relative to a satisfying job or a fulfilling career that boosts your ego and makes you feel all-powerful? Is it relative to a devoted husband, a loving wife or the perfect children? Is it relative to all the grandiose material possessions that you’re able to obtain throughout your lifetime?

Is happiness quantifiable?
Let’s see if we can come up with a scale to measure happiness. When can we say that we’re truly happy? Is it possible to develop a “happiness gauge” so you can keep tabs on how happy you really are during a particular moment?

How Long Will It Last?
Can we really believe in forevermore? Is there such a thing called “happy-ever-after”? Or are all forms of happiness tend to be momentary?

Factors that Contribute to Ones Happiness:

Active and committed presence of the “one great love”
Sense of belongingness to a family (not broken or dysfunctional in any way)
A supportive barkada who loves to reiterate to you, lest you forget, the definition of FUN (di pede ang KJ…feeling high school pa din)
A greatly-fulfilling career and a high-paying job that enables you to buy everything you need and more.
Money… money… and lotsa’ lotsa’ money… pero sabi nga nila diba, money can buy you all the things you want but not everything you need (i.e. love, time, etc). Hence, erase…erase…erase!
The prospect of a “new” love… the kilig factor… the eagerness to unveil the mystery behind the unfamiliarity… the tingling excitement of finding something new, uncovering the real person inside… the magical first kiss…

Ode to -beinte otso-

2007-05-08T19:34:00.000+03:00

The past 1361 days… a little over 45 months… have undoubtedly become the very best days of my life. Everything has changed since that fateful day when fate brought us together… our goals, our priorities, our perceptions in life, our friends and families… everything has come and gone except YOU. You were the one “constant” that helped me get through the good, the bad, the happy and sad moments of my life. Whenever I’m down, you were always there to pick me up, prodding me onwards to try again. You never gave up on me no matter what. You were the reason why I became the stronger and much wiser person that I am now. You were also the only one who cares and loves me enough to go the extra mile just to see me smile. For the past 3 years, you were my only source of pleasure and sheer bliss. You made life so worth living and you were the main reason why I have the will to wake up each passing day. Ultimately, you have given me the one thing that I have been longing for since the first time I have learned to love… security. You taught me how to trust again…to have faith in other people but most especially to have faith in myself. Your seemingly endless love for me has sown my heart together from disparity and heartbreak and made me whole. Since then, I have loved you like I never thought I could ever love someone else. I devoted my life to you and I gave you all of me.

But now we are faced with, by far, the hardest and most emotionally-consuming obstacle in our lives together. It shattered my heart and drained my very core. We never talked about breaking-up because you never wanted to hear even a word of it. Maybe because it was never an option – up until now. But the one thing that stuck to me that I remembered you saying was that if you were ever to face an inconceivable break-up… you will never give up easily on us and that you will fight for me to the end.

This is what I’m trying to do now. Please don’t hate me for doing this. I am not trying to make you miserable. It’s just that I feel it in my heart that I have to do this. I want to do this. Because I love you far more than you can ever imagine. I feel like this is the right thing to do… just like what happened last night… you holding me in your arms…it felt so right… that it’s where I belong. I’m not going to give up just like that. The war is not yet lost. Please let me know if I stand a chance… Please let me know if you want me to fight for you… for us. We are so good together. I know this will be hard but please stick with me.

I don’t want to look back to this day and regret why I did not even TRY to fight for you. Please give “US” a fighting chance. Don’t you think that we deserve one more shot? Honey, please… won’t you stay in the room with me? Let’s give “happy-ever-after” one more chance.

______________________________________________________________

LET'S STAY TOGETHER

I'm so in love with you
Whatever you wanna do
Is alright with me
You make me feel so brand new(It's you that always makes me feel brand new)
I want to spend my whole life with you(I just wanna spend my life with you)
Let me say that since, since we've been together
Loving you forever is what I need
Let me be the one you come running to(Let me be the one that you run to)
I'll never be untrue(I will never be untrue to you)
Oh baby let's stay together(Let's stay together)
Let's stay together(Let's stay together)
Loving you forever(Let's stay together)
Times are good or bad, happy or sad(Good, bad, happy or sad)
Ooh, tell me why can't we stay together(Good, bad, happy or sad)
Why, why do people break up
Turn around and make up

And I just can't see
You'd never do that to me(you would never do that to me)
Being around you is what I see(Being around you that is what I see)
Baby baby let's, let's stay together(Let's stay together)Loving you whether(Let's stay together)

Simple Realizations

2007-05-08T18:52:00.000+03:00

You don’t need anyone to complete you.

Love yourself first and foremost. Be sure not to lose track of that when you share your love to someone else.

Being single is fun! No worries, no restrictions, no objections!

It’s not so bad to live by the moment… not to relive the past and think so much about the future.

Choose your friends well… you’ll never really know who your true friends are until such time that you need them most… whoever sticks around and walks through the fire with you… is a rare gem… never to be lost… always to be treasured.

Grief and sorrow are there to make you strong. Don’t lurk away from the hardships of life or escape the burning agony of living… take a stand… make a resolve… will yourself to move on. There’s more to life than you expect.

Welcome the changes in your life like a child eagerly anticipating the presents on Christmas morn. You’ll never know what you’re gonna get ‘til you rip open the fancy wrappings, reach inside the box & pull out the well-thought-of surprise. More often than not, it’s not what we wished for… but oftentimes, it’s just what we need… we just haven’t realized it yet.

When you feel like everything and everyone has turned their backs on you… when you feel the urge to break free and make your silent escape… stop for a while… look around… amongst the clutter in the world, you’ll find another soul suffering the same pain, enduring the same trials, feeling the same soul-wrenching grief… making you realize that in fact, you are not alone.
If your great love failed you... pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and be ready to try again. Do not use your heartache as an excuse to shun the next great person who comes along... you'll never know if destiny's already knocking at your door. Be forever grateful for the happy moments, the broken heart and the lessons learned from your one great love.
Happiness is a prerogative.