Clan, Here's to 12 Years of Dancing! :)

HAPPY 12^TH ANNIVERSARY BRODS & SISSES!

Long live UPLB STREET JAZZ DANCE CO.

One love. One group. One passion. One family.

To GOD be the glory!

And many many many more years to come. Let the Clan's legacy live on. Remember, dance from your heart. Give nothing else but sheer passion. PERFORM!

Much love,

TE CHIE :)

Ma. Richelle A. Abitria
SJ Batch '09
Elite Pioneer Batch '08

This just in...

Best served while still hottt.

Apparently, I'm a mistress of some guy I haven't even met!!

My first reaction: HYSTERIA!  The absurdity of it all made me bawl over with laughter. I mean SERIOUSLY?!?!

When you hear the whole story, it'll blow your mind too. I swear!

Now that I had time to think, I feel like I have to write this down so I won't forget. Just so, you know, for future reference or somethin'. Bear with me please; I'm still trying to stifle a giggle here. Besides, this is a good thing…me writing again. I subjected myself to some form of self-inflicted social hiatus for more than a month now.  Literally and figuratively speaking.  What I'm basically saying here is I have a valid excuse for this verbal diarrhea. I haven't "talked" to my closest friends; I always gave them the proverbial "I'm fine" excuse to a point that they got tired of asking... I read… an awfulfreakin lot; but haven't written a single thing. Not even a blog, well not until recently.  And it's sooo not me, coz I find writing therapeutic. That's how "purplegoddes" (my alter ego) was even born in the first place. So no, no writing for me.  Well, unless you consider 140-character one-liners, writing. I think not, that's why they coined the term tweeting anyways. So as I was saying… sorry I digress (writing skills shamefully unused here, people.  Cut me some slack).

My dear friend, Steffi, came by the office today. As already mentioned earlier, I haven't met with my friends for the longest time. Imagine my surprise for her "surprise" visit; but I was glad to see her! After the usual pleasantries, she went on to disclose the main reason she felt compelled to see me (note: this ain't verbatim).
Steff:        Chie, do you remember the rumor about you last year that Janis went gaga over?
Me:         Yah? *puzzled*
Steff:         You know, that one where everyone thought you were the mistress of J@#!$%@?!? Just because they didn't really know the girl, and everyone knows you!
Me:         U-huh *still puzzled*
Steff:        Alam mo ba that it still persists pala? And somehow the whole hospital knows about it!
Me:        *dumb-founded. started cracking up. When I found my voice, all I can say was… "WHAT?!?"*
Steff & Chie:         *laughing our ass off*

Again… seriously? UNTIL  NOW?!?!  Di maka-move on? That's one helluva run!  Talk about "lasting" power. Showbiz na  showbiz lang ah! ROFL Oh well, according to the grapevine, we're still selling like pancakes. Steff was just concerned because this came up whilst she was chitchatting with her "boss", who incidentally used to be the head of the Admin mafia upstairs. And boss lady was hesitant to tell Steff about it because I was her friend. Can you imagine?


The story behind the story (about a year ago, when this nasty rumor first surfaced): It was Janis' (another dear friend) Ma'asallamah party, we just finished stuffing ourselves with good food. Then in the middle of scoffing even more delectable stories, Janis remembered this incident that she witnessed wherein 2 girls where gossiping about somebody else's life. You know, the usual. She accidentally picked-up on their conversation where one was saying to the other that a prominent hospital figure was having an affair with one of the secretaries of the younger breed. Girl#1 was heard saying, "Si Rachel daw. Kilala mo ba yun?" And Girl#2 hastily blurted out without even thinking, "Aahh, si Richelle! Yung tiga-Appointments!" Odb? Ang gara! Just because our names sounded one-freakin-vowel alike. Josme!

But what made it even funnier, beside the fact that it was…uhmmm…  NOT TRUE…was:
1.        I don't even know the guy. I have HEARD of him; but I don't recall ever being introduced to him. I have the vaguest idea who he was or how he looked like!
2.        I had a boyfriend that time. And if you knew me… if you really knew me… you can attest to how devoted I am. I am deeply loyal to a fault. Faithfulness is one virtue I can definitely live up to. Yip. This girl is a one-man woman!  I'm superfriendly (that I am too), but one bad vibe from you and you're out!lol. Bottomline is, when I'm in a committed & loving relationship, I just don't have the heart to even entertain other people. That would be cheating. And I can't even get off a tiny little lie without feeling guilty about it!  
3.        Did I mention how preposterous this was?!  wahahaha.

I wasn't really bothered about me; coz there was no way in hell that it was true.  I didn't even feel the need to defend myself. It was sooooo far off base, it was ridiculous!  And the only thing we could do was laugh it off (and me blogging about it now).  As long as I'm good with the Lord, nothing can fluster me. His is the only opinion that counts in my tab. And I know that He'll vindicate me from this… somehow.

So yah, another Tuesday has ended.  I'm done for the day but I still can't stop laughing. Good thing it's payday. Can't wait to get my claws on that gorgeous gladiator shoes I saw in Bershka!    

PLANNING AHEAD

If I were asked what my life-changing book is (aside from the Holy Bible, of course), I would have to say "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. And if there's such a thing as a life-changing email (amongst all the piles and piles of forwarded stuff I'm receiving each day), I think this would be it. Whilst rummaging through my congested archive, I was glad I managed to save this. Somebody dear forwarded this to me during a time when all my plans shattered before my very eyes; crumbling piece by heart-breaking piece. She may have not known it then... but this brought me the epiphany I desperately needed. It forced me redirect my focus on the ONE true thing, the ONE that really matters in life, the ONE whose love for me is constant & never-changing... then, now & til the end of time. My Lord. My Savior. Jesus Christ.

And it lead me to my life-verse then, Genesis 50:20:
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
This spoke to me in immeasurable ways. It taught me forgiveness... to relinquish the anger that was consuming me. Out of it, I got peace. It taught me humility... to accept the fact that I was at the Lord's mercy and not my own. I have done atrocious things in my past and have hurt a handful of people just to get my way. I have no business demanding "why things went south and not according to my plan". With this I got greater understanding. And finally, it taught me complete and utter dependence on God... that I would rather submit my life to God's will and God's plan rather than walk through life... limp, deaf and blind. As a result, I got everything else I needed (walang ng kulang). The Lord made me whole again.

Before I take my leave, I one more thing to say... May YOU live a life full of blessings and abundance, by God's unfailing grace... this I pray in Jesus' mighty name.


******************************************************************
(Author Unknown)


The best gift anyone can give me this new year is a planner.
I like planners because I am a planner.
I like thinking ahead.
I like being prepared.
I get a high from being on top of things.

But some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn't always turn out as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever. You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world

You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered.
Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want.
But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours. Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes God sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans but understand that we live by God's grace.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

Shoe-therapy heals all wounds

For the risk of sounding too imeldific, these were really good buys. Pinky swear. Besides they were calling my name, I'd be a fool not to buy them. :) And I always subscribed to the doctrine that shoe-therapy HEALS all ILLS. It really does. You should try it sometimes. Lol

On Winning, Losing & Bets

The LA Lakers just claimed their nth franchise victory, Phil Jackson's 11th ring & Kobe Bryant's 2nd Finals MVP. I hope I got my stats right. Today was the exhilirating Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals between the Greens & the Purples (that's what I monickered them anyways) but known to the world as the Boston Celtics & the LA Lakers.

Bets have definitely been placed. Celtics fans are begrudgingly rougin' & coughin' up greens to pay-up whilst the Lakers fans are getting richer by the minute. But I'm pretty sure that not all bets placed were about money. I made some of them myself. So here's what I won:

1. I am not going out on a blind date
2. I have an all-around driver when I go home in September
3. me.

Let me explain that last bit. A few days before Game 1 (if my memory serves me right), I made this bet. All or nothing. And what was at stake? Drumrolls please, ME! Lol. It was a stupid thing to do & we both laughed it off. Things happened just as God has planned & I surrendered…

But if we ever agreed on that bet, I wonder… Did anyone of us really win? Or did we both lose? Coz from where I'm standing, I don't feel like a winner.

They say that things you lose have a way of coming back to you in the end. But what if it was never yours to lose in the first place? Life…it sucks sometimes. Reality bites.

So, the Lakers still reigned supreme and Kobe hailed the king!!! Time to cuff up Celtics fans. And Purple peeps (yeap, I have mah peeps), we have bragging rights all year long. Woooot! Til next season.

*picture was taken from Tweeter*




Originally posted in: http://purplegoddess30.wordpress.com/

I AM FINE

I AM FINE

They say that the 3 most powerful words are:

I

LOVE

YOU.

The 3 hardest words to say are:

I

AM

SORRY.

And the 3 most destructive words are:

I

AM

FINE.

In retrospect, 'Tis true.  We have a habit of dishing out  servings of  "I'm fine" as a staple answer to questions ranging from a quick nod & a casual "Hello. How are you?"to probing inquisitions that starts with "Hey. Are you OK?" followed by a not-so-subtle-look of suspicion.

The degree of being just fine varies from "honest-to-goodness" fine to "who-are-you-kidding" fine. Yip, believe it or not, there's a whole spectrum of "fine-ness". IKR. I pick up things like this on my emotional radar.  LOL). :p

So… well and good if you really are; too bad if you're obviously not and you're just trying on sarcasm for kicks. But you see, it's the grey areas that can get pre-tty scary sometimes. Because when you try to project a strong facade when in fact, you're breaking inside… when you choose to live in a world of make believe and pretend that everybody's fine when they're not… and when you'd rather  be a coward  than own up to your fears… You, my friend, are headed for T-R-O-U-B-L-E faster than you can say "nah!".

There are a million and one reasons why we hide behind the curtain of the proverbial "I'm fine" excuse; some of them immeasurably valid.  But sometimes acknowledging that we are not, can mean freedom. Truth be told, we are not perfect – we fumble, we fall, we make a mess of our lives and we are not ALWAYS fine. Not all the time. But guess what? It's OK. That doesn't make us a bad person, it only makes us human.

There's no quick fix, short-cut or on-the-spot solution to this either.  It's better to humbly face the truth about ourselves… the truth will set us free but it often makes us miserable first.  Only when God shine's the light of His truth on our faults, failures and hang-ups can we begin working on them. So, be patient with yourself and be patient with God.

"Our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him." (Ephesians 4-13)

So here's what I have to say if you ask how I am:

Thank you for asking. I'm fine.. though not all the time.
PBPGINFWMY.

(Please be patient, God is not finished with me YET!)   

Men are Like...

This right here... made my day! I didn't know similes could be hilarious. :)



1. Men are like 
Laxatives 
They irritate the crap out of you. 

2 
Men are like. 
Bananas 
The older they get, the less firm they are. 




3. Men are like 
Weather 
Nothing can be done to change 
them. 




4. 
Men are like 
Blenders 
You need One, but you're not quite sure why.. 




5. 
Men are like 
Chocolate Bars 
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right 
for your hips. 

6. Men are like 
Commercials 
You can't believe a word they say. 


7. 
Men are like 
Department Stores 
Their clothes are always 1/2 off! 



8. 
Men are like 
Government Bonds 
.... They take soooooooo long to mature.


9. 
Men are like 
Mascara 
They usually run at the first sign of emotion. 



10. 
Men are like 
Popcorn 
They satisfy you, but only for a little while. 


11. 
Men are like 
Snowstorms 
You never know when they're coming, how many 
inches you'll get or how long it will last. 


12. 
Men are like 
Lava Lamps 
Fun to look at, but not very bright. 



13.. 
Men are like 
Parking Spots 
All the good ones are taken, the rest are 
handicapped. 

COMPLICATED

Guy & Girl, as new-found friends, spend the remainder of the night together after a gruelling exam under a tree, sipping wine & enjoying each other's company. When suddenly they...

...got caught up in the moment...
...got lost in each other's eyes...
...felt their bodies being pulled together like magnets...

...so they leaned closer and closer together...
...and when they were just about to kiss...
...an inch away from each other...
...Girl pulls away...
...realization dawns on the guy...
...so he picks himself up, shrugs everything off...
...and when he turns to leave...

...casually asks...

Guy: How can a girl spend the whole night with a guy and not tell him that she has a boyfriend?

<<<pause>>>>>

Girl: Good thing, that's not part of the test.

>>>Greek! Definitely hooked.

Convention of Those Wounded in Love

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying "all is fair in love and war" is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;



It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid's bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as "unrequited love". Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: "this person is worth fighting for".

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, VENGEANCE is expressly FORBIDDEN. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called PARDON should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one's decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as "breaking up", the only medicine capable of having an effect is called TIME. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.



Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: "I have lived". Because they haven't.




: by Paulo Coelho

An Affair to UN-Remember

Every affair has its own unique twist.  It begins with a minor flirtation.  Next comes rationalization.  It is soon followed by a feeling of being deprived if you see other people having something you don't.  But the real clincher comes when you not only have to have something, but you have to have it NOW!  

So, we sacrifice a bright future. For what? For whom? For stuff that we think will make us feel better when we're having a rough day?  For things that divert our attention from our confused states? For someone that could give us the sense of belongingness whenever we feel alone? Just to realize, at the end of it all that they were stuff that we never needed in the first place…they were just people who cluttered our lives with their false pretenses. Thing is, we already know that trouble's knockin' at our door, but we still dare take a look.   We tell ourselves that it's just a lil peek and no harm's gonna be done. Unknowingly, we get enticed…we get drawn…we are beguiled by the sweet, empty promises.  Then we begin to rationalize that maybe…just maybe… it'll be good for you.  And finally, we find ourselves entangled in the chaotic, acrimonious web that we ourselves have spun…

…hopefully, not a second too late.

So whenever I feel weary and my hope begins to wane, I hold on to these promises:

·        Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing & perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

·        Forgetting what is behind & straining toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13)

·        Let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision – you'll see it yet. (Philippians 3:15)

·        Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)


-30-



***wrote this eons ago. Just didn't get the chance to publish it.

Is Your Love Genuine Or Fake?

When the magic of infatuation fades, are you ready to make that life-changing decision to genuinely LOVE your partner? For richer or for poorer? For better or for worse? Great artik by Bo Sanchez.

* * * * *

"Buy Rolex. $20 only."
A moustached guy offered it to me while walking in a busy street.
Wow. Didn't Rolex watches sell at $5000 each?
Because he thought I was interested, the man opened his jacket and displayed other designer watches—such as Patek Phillip, Cartier, and Omega. "Choose what you want. $20 only each."
That was shocking. I knew some high-end Patek watches cost $200,000. So how in the world could this man be selling them for $20?
Too bad for the watch guy, I don't use watches. Stopped using them 25 years ago. To know the time, I look at the sun. On a cloudy day, I look at someone else's watch.
But my buddy bought a $20 Rolex. It was a steal, he said.
Hey, it looked like a Rolex. It worked like a Rolex. It felt like a Rolex. But it wasn't a Rolex.
Five months later, my friend was sad because his watch broke down. I told him, "What did you expect?"
Let me use this to explain why we have problems in our relationships.

How To Do The Great Switcheroo

Why do so many marriages have problems today?
Because many couples built their marriage on a pirated version of Love, not Love.
The pirated version of Love is Infatuation.
There was a time when I thought Infatuation was only for pimple-faced teenyboppers. Not true. Old fogies like myself aren't exempted.
Not that Infatuation is a bad thing. It's totally normal. Infatuation only becomes a bad thing if a person thinks it was Love.
I repeat: Infatuation is like a pirated copy of Love.

Foolish people think the pirated copy is real. When it breaks down, they panic or get depressed. They realize it's fake. And their whole world crumbles.
Wise people know Infatuation is a pirated copy. They enjoy it while it lasts, but they know it was brittle and wouldn't last. So secretly, they also bought the genuine article. (Note:Pirated versions are given; Real versions are bought. I'll explain later.) So when the pirated version breaks down, the wise person does the great switcheroo. He pulls out the real thing.
Today, I'll tell you how to spot the genuine from the fake.
I'll describe the real deal—and how it's the only thing that can save your marriage. But not only your marriage, but every other relationship you have.
Oh yes, so many people have relationship problems with their parents, or children, or siblings, or friends—because they don't know what Real Love is.
I'm going to explain to you that Real Love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.
Let me explain how this great switcheroo works…

"Ngooorrrk!"

"Father, we want to get married."
When the engaged couple went to the priest to schedule their wedding, their hearts were beating for each other. It was so loud, the priest could actually hear it. "Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub."
But he's seen this before. How sweet lovebirds end up almost killing each other a year after the wedding. So he warned them, "As you know, feelings of love won't last."
And the couple said, "We know Father."
But at the back of their minds, they're saying, "We know Father that feelings of love won't last for everyone else. But not for us. How can this feeling be fake when it's as strong as a roaring volcano? It is as clear as the noonday sun, as eternal as the waves of the sea, as beautiful as the stars in the night sky."
After the wedding ceremony, they have their honeymoon.
On their first night, the new husband watches his bride asleep, the moonlight streaming from the bedroom window onto her lovely face. He gazes at her long eyelashes, her pinkish cheeks, her parted lips. All of a sudden, she snores.
"Ngooorrrk."
What does he say?
"How cute."
Six months later, it's the same scene.
They're at home. The guy sees his wife asleep, with the moonlight streaming from the window onto her face. All of a sudden, she snores.
"Ngooorrrk."
What does he say?
"How gross."
What happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if he has it.
Let me give you another example.

From Gazing To Gossiping

How do you know if a couple in the restaurant are not married?
Easy.
If they're physically close, touching each other, hand to hand, eye to eye, nose to nose, bad breath to bad breath—they're not married.
Look underneath their table, and if their legs are intertwined and they're playing footsies together, they're not married.
If they don't look at anything else but each other, they're not married.
If nuclear bombs fall right beside them and they won't even notice, they're not married.
If a flash flood engulfs the entire restaurant and all the guy could say was, "Sweetheart, I love the color of your eyes as it reflects the brownish floodwater around us," you can bet your life, they're not married.
And how do you know if a couple in a restaurant are married?
Easy.
If they're seated far apart, so far a part, a six by six truck could pass in between them, they're married.
If they look bored, they're married.
If the whole night, all they do is talk about other people, they're married. The wife whispers, "Don't look at her, but the woman behind you is wearing fake eyelashes, fake jewellery, a fake Coach bag, fake anatomical parts, and a fake husband." Being dense, the man turns around and asks, "Where? Where?"
Once upon a time, they had eyes only for one another.
Now, they barely look at each other.
What has happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.
But only if they have it.

Spot The Difference

Let me now share five clear-as-daylight differences between Infatuation and Real Love:
1. Infatuation doesn't require a decision. It just happens. You see a girl and boom—your hormones kick in and you want her. You don't know why. It's her dress. It's the way her hair falls on her shoulder. It's her smile. It's the way she bites her fingernail. That's why I said that pirated versions are free. But Real Love doesn't just happen; Real Love requires a decision. That's why Scott Peck says Real Love can only start after one has "fallen out of love."

2. Infatuation, no matter what you do, lasts only for a season. You have these feelings of love swirling within you until something happens that breaks the spell. Maybe she'll open her mouth. Maybe she'll reveal her fangs. Maybe she'll pick her nose. Maybe she'll spend your money. Maybe she'll introduce you to her mother. Maybe she gains 30 pounds. It could be anything. Infatuation can last for a few days or for a couple of years. But Real Love can last forever precisely because it's a decision.

3. Infatuation is directed towards a figment of your imagination. You're not attracted to a real person. You're attracted to a projection of that person from your own imagination. Like Infatuation itself, you're in love with a fake. But Real Love is directed towards a real person. You now know her strengths and weaknesses, and have accepted it all.

4. Infatuation is a spontaneous collapse of your boundaries. You get lost and you merge with the other. You're enmeshed. You can't survive without each other. But Real Love requires strengthening of both your boundaries; You actually don't need each other, but you choose each other because you want to serve.

5. Infatuation is all about feelings. Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub. Cold palms, giddy spells, dazed looks, and feet on the clouds. But Real Love is about dirty hands. You don't have to feelanything to love. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Love is an action, not just a state. Let me repeat my message: I believe love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts. The essence of love isn't feelings but service. Scott Peck says it so well—the opposite of love isn't hatred; the opposite of love is laziness.

Your Physiology Affects Your Psychology

Here's the thing.
I've found out that only mature people can love. Only mature people can do the great switcheroo when the pirated copy fails. They just pull out the genuine article.
Why? Only mature people have love within them.
Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.
You may be asking me, "But Bo, is love dry? Isn't there room for feelings?"
Of course, there is.
Here's a secret mature people know in their hearts even if they don't know it cognitively: Your physiology affects your psychology. Your feeling follows your action.
If we keep on doing acts of love, we increase our feelings of love. The more we "dirty our hands", the more we find our "hearts beating" for the other.
To make this practical, let me share seven simple ways of dirtying your hands. They are (1) Help, (2) Prayer, (3) Presence, (4) Touch, (5) Words, (6) Gifts, and (7) Boundaries.

1. Help

Love means giving practical help.
If you're a mother, I'm sure there are days when you wake up feeling blue and you don't want to enter the kitchen. But fifteen minutes later, where are you? Cooking in the kitchen, because some little people will get hungry. You don't feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That's love.
If you're a husband, I'm sure there are days when you go home tired from work. But you see your kids. And even if all you want to do is lie down on the couch, you decide to play with them. You don't feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That's love.
If you're a child whose parents are older, I'm sure you want to help them. Sure, you've got your own problems now, but doesn't stop you from serving them. You don't feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That's love.

2. Prayer

Love means praying for your loved ones.
Perhaps your father was a horrible man. And you hate him. But you decide to pray for him.
Sooner or later, God will answer your prayer. God will change him, but He'll change you first. Your father gets blessed, but you get blessed too. Ultimately, you become a more loving person.
You pray whether you feel like it or not.
That's love.

3. Presence

Love means spending time together.
Not just being physically together, but also being emotionally together.
That could mean a father playing with his kids. Or a daughter visiting her aging parents. Or siblings going shopping together. Or friends laughing over pizza. Or a couple taking a walk.
There'll be times when you won't feel like bonding together.
But you do it anyway. That's love.

4. Touch

Love means physical affection.
One day, a couple walking to work noticed a man passionately kissing a woman. "Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"
People aren't machines. They need to be touched. Holding hands, pats on the back, shoulder rubs, hugs, and kisses nourish and heal people more than you can possibly imagine.
Again, there'll be days when you don't want to kiss or hold hands or hug. But you do it anyway. That's love.

5. Words

Love means verbal or written expressions.
When was the last time you told your husband, "Thank you for working so hard for our family"? When was the last time you told your wife, "Thank you for being a great mother to our kids"? When was the last time you told your mother, "Thanks for serving me all these years"? And when was the last time you actually said, "I love you"?
You might argue with me and say, "Bo, I don't want to be a hypocrite. When I say it, I must feel it."
Here's my question: Are you just your emotions?
Or are you much more than your emotions? Are you also your spirit, your soul, your mind, your imagination, your will?

6. Gifts

Love means giving tokens—or symbols of love.
To you, your gift may mean nothing. But to another person, a small, inexpensive gift from you could mean the world.

7. Boundaries

Love means respecting the boundaries of the other.
Love means giving space to the other and letting the other person grow on her own. Love also means letting the other face her own responsibilities.
I like it when my wife goes out with her girlfriends each week. I like it when she takes up other interests. I like it when she grows and flourishes as an individual. I like it when she tells me, "Bo, I need some alone time. I'll just go window shopping for awhile." So I pray over her, "Lord, I claim in faith that she'll be faithful to those words, that she will indeed go 'window' shopping only. Thank you, Lord, for this miracle!"

Love Is Service

I dedicate my last story to all those living away from their loved ones today—Overseas Filipino Workers, Migrants, etc.
Many years ago, I met Alice, a Filipina teacher in Brunei.
She was my host and took care of me while I was there. When I woke up early one morning, I noticed that she was on the phone. But she wasn't speaking.
She explained that it was her beautiful ritual of love to her husband. Years ago, her husband suffered a stroke and he became paralyzed. So she went to Brunei to work for the family.
And what was this ritual of love? Alice would wake up at 4 in the morning to call her husband. (This was before the days of cell phones and text messages.) But because they could not afford long distance calls, they agreed that the husband was not to answer the phone.
Instead, the husband would allow the phone to ring.
And ring.
And ring.
He would allow the love of Alice, symbolized by the ringing, to fill their house and to fill his heart.
For 8 years straight, Alice did this beautiful ritual without fail.
Until he finally passed away.
That's what love is.
Not like feelings that come and go.
Not like moods that are here today and gone tomorrow.
Love is simply done, day in and day out.
Because it's eternal.
Constant.
Faithful.
It was Mother Teresa who said, "Service is a fruit of love".
If you love, you will serve.
Go now, and like Mother Teresa, dirty your hands.
May your dreams come true,



Article written by: Bo Sanchez