I remember my Prof in Psych saying that a man's wants and desires are endless. Our list of what "I want to buy", "what I want to have", "what I want to achieve", "what I want to become" or just simply "what i want" can go on forever.
When I was in elementary I couldn't wait to get to high school and be able to enjoy the so-called "highschool life". In highschool, I counted the days when I can pack my bags and live the life of independence that college has to offer. In college, I wanted to be everything... CEAT's college scholar (I only made it to honor roll), everybody's friend (BS Org nga ako e), a power-dancer (at least I tried to be & made it to the CORE group that became SOP champs), the best organizer and orchestrator of all the activities of the UPLB SJazz clan (the mind behind it all), and last but certainly not the least I did my best to be the perfect gf.
I did everything in my power to get everything that I wanted. After college, I thought I had it all...a perfect job, a perfectly planned future, a perfect partner who means the world to me and loves me unconditionally, a perfect life. Or so I thought.
Why's it that when we earn just enough to survive, we aim for a more lucrative job. After landing that dream job, we seek for other employment opportunities that offer better benefits. After getting all the benefits anyone can ask for, we still try to scout for a more challenging post. What is there left to take?
When we have fairly enough money to buy anything we want, we want more money to buy all the other things that we think we want. And even after getting all those things, we still find ourselves looking for extra jobs, accepting loads & loads of overtime, channeling our business skills to look for other sources of income. And for what? To get the newest Nokia cellphone (whose value depreciates faster than you can blink), to buy a new pair of Manolo Blahnik's or Jimmy Choo's that you've been eyeing for months, or so you can afford another getaway trip to Bora? Then, what's next in your unending wish list?
When we were single we secretly prayed for our prince charming to come and carry us off to our happy-ever-after. We prepare ourselves for that one person, so that when our one great love comes, we can offer ourselves whole..not wanting anything else...not desiring anything more... not looking for what is not there. We enjoy the bliss of love, togetherness & loyalty. We do all things as one. We are bounded by this inexplicable feeling that drives us to be the best possible person we can be for our partner. We plan to spend our lives together... forevermore. But for some reason, when we are already in a secured, stable and loving relationship, we tend to think of all the "what ifs" and "what could have been". We long for the "magic" that has been lost in the essence of fondness and familiarity. We envision that love should last for a lifetime. And when we don't "feel" the love that we used to know, is it reason enough to say that you have fallen out of love? That somehow, love has been lost in the many years that you have been together. It was inevitably consumed... prodding you on to begin another search of that lost feeling... to find love once again.
Do we then just turn our backs to our one great love? How sure are we that what's out there is what(who) we want? What if the very person you're trying so hard to look for, is already the very same person standing right in front of you? Is it worth giving up your forever for?
And if you decide to take the jump...take the risk...How do you then say goodbye to the person you promised forever to?
When I was in elementary I couldn't wait to get to high school and be able to enjoy the so-called "highschool life". In highschool, I counted the days when I can pack my bags and live the life of independence that college has to offer. In college, I wanted to be everything... CEAT's college scholar (I only made it to honor roll), everybody's friend (BS Org nga ako e), a power-dancer (at least I tried to be & made it to the CORE group that became SOP champs), the best organizer and orchestrator of all the activities of the UPLB SJazz clan (the mind behind it all), and last but certainly not the least I did my best to be the perfect gf.
I did everything in my power to get everything that I wanted. After college, I thought I had it all...a perfect job, a perfectly planned future, a perfect partner who means the world to me and loves me unconditionally, a perfect life. Or so I thought.
Why's it that when we earn just enough to survive, we aim for a more lucrative job. After landing that dream job, we seek for other employment opportunities that offer better benefits. After getting all the benefits anyone can ask for, we still try to scout for a more challenging post. What is there left to take?
When we have fairly enough money to buy anything we want, we want more money to buy all the other things that we think we want. And even after getting all those things, we still find ourselves looking for extra jobs, accepting loads & loads of overtime, channeling our business skills to look for other sources of income. And for what? To get the newest Nokia cellphone (whose value depreciates faster than you can blink), to buy a new pair of Manolo Blahnik's or Jimmy Choo's that you've been eyeing for months, or so you can afford another getaway trip to Bora? Then, what's next in your unending wish list?
When we were single we secretly prayed for our prince charming to come and carry us off to our happy-ever-after. We prepare ourselves for that one person, so that when our one great love comes, we can offer ourselves whole..not wanting anything else...not desiring anything more... not looking for what is not there. We enjoy the bliss of love, togetherness & loyalty. We do all things as one. We are bounded by this inexplicable feeling that drives us to be the best possible person we can be for our partner. We plan to spend our lives together... forevermore. But for some reason, when we are already in a secured, stable and loving relationship, we tend to think of all the "what ifs" and "what could have been". We long for the "magic" that has been lost in the essence of fondness and familiarity. We envision that love should last for a lifetime. And when we don't "feel" the love that we used to know, is it reason enough to say that you have fallen out of love? That somehow, love has been lost in the many years that you have been together. It was inevitably consumed... prodding you on to begin another search of that lost feeling... to find love once again.
Do we then just turn our backs to our one great love? How sure are we that what's out there is what(who) we want? What if the very person you're trying so hard to look for, is already the very same person standing right in front of you? Is it worth giving up your forever for?
And if you decide to take the jump...take the risk...How do you then say goodbye to the person you promised forever to?
True true true. Where does contentment lie amidst all this insatiability? But your optimism is inspiring. Hang on to the written word! I'm so glad you're rediscovering it. Neil Gaiman said, "Writing is flying in dreams." And as for the real world beyond paper and pen, I have faith in your optimism, in your strength. Diba fighter ka? War freak pa nga nung high school. :D
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