Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Untitled


There are just nights when you feel that no matter how many stars there are in the galaxy,
there is never enough light to fill the sadness of the sky.
You hope and wait for that brightest star to finally come to light up your world.
But in the end, there's only coldness encompassing emptiness in its arms.
Dig within yourself and you'd find all the strength that you would ever need.
Strength to move... Move away from what you have always known.
And you'll discover that brightness is only just a relative word.

******

=====>>>>A simple reminder to the one who have written these inspiring words for me to hold onto while drifting along these wide open spaces. To a fellow hopeless romantic who believes in happy-ever-afters. When you've returned from your quest, don't forget to hollerback...<<<<<=====

Sunday, July 8, 2007

FOUND THIS IN ONE OF MY HS FRIEND'S BLOG...TALK ABOUT JOLOGS!!!! BUT HEY, WE ALL HAVE OUR MOMENTS NAMAN DIBA? PAGBIGYAN NA... READ THROUGH FROM TOP TO BOTTOM MUNA THEN SAKA KAYO MAG-JUDGE. I DARE ANYONE WHO DISAGREES. HEHE. ENJOY =)

"This is dedicated to the one person I know who ultimately believes in love...whose faith never wavered. For all the love you've given. For all the heartaches and pain. For everything... don't ever change. Believe. You're far
stronger than you think. You've been such an inspiration. Thank you for the sense of belongingness."


***

MAHAL MO NGA BA SIYA?

para sa mga taong nanliligaw, nagbabalak manligaw, nililigawan, naliligaw, nag-iintay maligawan at nagbabalak lumagay sa magulo..........
ang love ay hindi minamadali...
hindi pinipilit..at lalong hindi kina-career...aray ko
unang-una...
PAANO MO BA NASABING MAHAL MO NA SIYA???...
dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???...
o kaya naman naaaliw ka???...
naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya???...
kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???...
at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses niya???...
eh teka muna...baka naman infatuated ka lang....
o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo...
BAKA naaaliw ka lang...
dahil kakaiba siya...
may spark na hindi mo maintindihan...
tsk!!!...
ang saklap nyan!...
pangalawa...
GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA???...
madali ba siyang mapikon???...
pano ba siya mabadtrip???...
madali bang mahalata na may topak siya???...
ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???...
shorts ba o pantalon???...
nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???...
matagal ba siyang maligo???....
kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???...
tamad ba siya???...
mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magbasa ng libro???...
nagpe-playstation ba siya???...
tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki???...
makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???...
green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???...
sa village ba siya nakatira???...
may sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa kanila???...
nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???...
kasama ba yung pamilya niya???...
at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???...
in short...
alam mo na nga ba???...
ang mga bagay-bagay...
ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...
na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya...
s in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...
pangatlo...
KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN???...
as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo...
sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay...
sa lahat ng katopakan niya...
sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya...
sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at gagawin pa lang niya...
sa lahat ng naiisip niya...
sa lahat ng sasabihin niya...
sa kilos niya...
sa pananamit pa pala niya...
sa pagsasalita...
sa pananaw niya sa buhay...
sa pagtrato niya sa tao...
sa lifestyle niya...
sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya...
sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya...
sa style niya pagdating sa love...
sa kasweetan niyang natural...
sa paglalambing niya...
sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas...
sa manners niya...
sa bisyo niya kung meron man...
sa mga pang-aasar niya sayo...
sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng problema...
sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...
pang-apat...
KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO???...
kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo...
na kasama pa rin siya ha...sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh...
mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...
nang dahil din sa kanya???...
kaya mo bang magmukhang t****...
as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan...
ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo...
kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...
as in kahit sa harapan niya???...
kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo siya???...
yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakielam...
mawala man ang manners mo...
na wala ka naman talaga...
in short...
KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG KASAMA MO NA SIYA???...
yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga...
dahil alam mong...
HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP...TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA...BUONG-BUO RIN...
PEOPLE!!!...
tama na kasi ang trip...
tama na ang pagmamadali...
oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao...
pero diba mas masarap yun...
LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG TOTOO YUNGNARARAMDAMAN MO. ...
kaya dapat, hinde tayo nagpapabulag sa akala nating LOVE....
mag antay na lang tayo....
wag natin unahan....
for all we know, nde pa pala cya ang para sa atin......
pero pag nasagot mo lahat ng nasa taas....
baka nga mahal mo na cya....
it's true. no matter where we are in the world, no matter the distance, the time difference and well,how many oceans or even continents that separate us from the people we love...if they want to reach us...if they want to talk to us, see us, get ahold of us...they will. if we want to find them, be with them..see them...talk to them...we will.

if we want something sooo bad, who can stop us from getting them?

it scares me to think how powerful we can really be...if we set our hearts and minds onto something...the possibilities are just...limitless.

***

limits.

how far are we willing to go? how long till we figure out that it's not even worth the fight...and that we've actually reached our limits..and pushing it even further would mean tittering towards the boundaries of stupidity.

do we need to wait for the time when we wake up one morning and feel totally disappointed...even to the point of being disgusted...to be slapped in the face of what abomination we've been subjecting ourselves to?

***

scary world out there.

***

i need to get myself back.

***

its not to the left. this time, let's do it right ;-)


Note: (thanks to a long-lost-once-again-found-honest-to-goodness-vivacious-girlfriend...stay fab, ste!)

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Road to Insignificance

(The Dreaded Countdown)
JUNE
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28th
(D-Day: Dooms day or Deliverance Day?)

Silence

Stillness

Oblivion

Insignificance

…the end?

29
Survived…
A new quest has begun.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

==> Confessions <==

The gentle breeze surrounding me,
The sound tranquility of the rolling ocean waves,
The serene beauty of the crimson sunset,
The rejuvenating feel of the sand on my feet as I walk along the endless shore,
Nothing… compared to you.


The sweet enticing scent of a freshly-picked rose,
The unrivaled crispness of snow as it falls, descends and kisses my little nose
The tiny soothing raindrops trickling down my face,
The love offered by everyone around me,
Nothing… compared to you.


Nothing in this world
Can compare to the way I feel for you..
The way I fly when I'm with you

The sheer longing when I'm without you.

Nothing can compare to your warm presence, your soft doting kisses and your comforting embrace
I would give everything... to feel your love once again.


Because...Nothing… absolutely nothing…
And...No one… undoubtedly no one can compare to you.
No one… absolutely no one...
Can EVER BE you.

-30-


Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The Story Behind the Lone White Rose

June 20th....

1 long-stemmed white rose...

flower of pure intention...

well-intended thoughts resulting in a sordid confrontation.

confrontation between friends...

friends turned into lovers...

lovers against all odds...

all odds conquered (withstanding the test of time).

bereft with love undone...

friends no longer...

strangers once again...

20 June...four years after.


-30-





Tonight I Can Write

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing.
In the distance.My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.


By: Pablo Neruda

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Random thoughts on Love... Love-lost... Wanderings... Letting Go...Moving on & the Pursuit to Happiness!




***

"Leaving a love you've suddenly outgrown can be heartbreaking, but it also shows you're strong enough to walk away from a relationship that no longer makes you happy. Moving out of your comfort zone can be downright scary, but it also proves just how brave you are to take on the unknown. Stronger, braver, wiser. You always do a little growing up everytime you do a little letting go."


-Oprah



****



Remember the five simple rules to be happy:




  1. Free your heart from hatred.

  2. Free your mind from worries.

  3. Live simply.

  4. Give more.

  5. Expect less.




*****



"Do you think love is a choice or by chance?"

"It’s by chance. If you fall in love, you don’t exactly have a choice do you?"

"For me it’s a bit of both. A chance meeting with someone is still a choice. For example you met that person in the street; both of you chose to take the same route and when you bumped into each other, it became a chance encounter. You don't fall in love by chance. It's still up to you if you really want to love this person, murder charges and all or not. Our minds like to play tricks on us that's why we think we couldn't help falling in love. Contrary to what books and movies had us believe, love is a decision and not just a mere feeling."


"I’m not going to argue with you on that. At some level, I agree with you. But what brought on this sudden insight?"


"It’s not sudden. I said that almost a year ago when a friend asked me the same question. I realized I wasn’t completely right. You can’t decide not to fall in love."


"Is it so bad to let go and give in?"


"To fall in love is to create a religion with a fallible god. I don’t remember who spoke these words. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that it is true. I did fall in love. But you are not fallible yet."






******



Happiness comes in many forms. In the company of good friends. In the company of someone special that came into your life when you least expect it. In the feeling that you get when you make someone elses dream come true. Or in the promise of hope and love renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy. Because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.

Monday, June 11, 2007

MEN ARE FROM MARS, LIBRANS ARE FROM VENUS (",)


General characteristics of the sign Libra:
Libra are focussed on the other, the surroundings, and the company. (didn’t quite get this) They are social, honest, like to have contact with people. They are not very good at living alone. Are inclined to do what others want, to spoil the others and to get along with them (in short… uto-uto. =) so far, so true). They have little willpower and perseverance (uyy! Di naman!). They can put themselves in somebody else's shoes, can’t stand discord, want to keep the peace al the time (peace men). They want order and rule in their life and try to avoid unpleasant situations at any price and like to be honest. They become nervous by controversy and violence, can’t live in disharmony and uncivilised surroundings i They have an aversion for ugly objects, rough language, bad manners and inappropriate colours (bawal ang chaka! Arte talaga!hehe). They love having others do things for them, like to be spoiled and always have someone around who will do the dirty and nasty jobs for them(if you can get away with it, why not?!?). It is their charming nature that gets away with it(Whaaaaat?!?!?). They stand up for those who have been treated wrongly (This I can vouch for. Saktan nyo na ako wag lang ang mga taong mahal ko. Or kahit sa common tao, when I see that the game is played unfairly... warfreak mode na ito!). They are very good defenders, adjudicators, and mediators. They can bring parties together again. They are balance-seekers, make compromises gladly and speak through their hearts, not only emotionally but also intellectually (finally! A note on ones intellectual capacity. Something worth mentioning). They don’t condemn, they are peacemakers. They are always pleasant and polite, of good will and give in easily, but they are not always real. They can say one thing, but mean something else (doble-kara? Di naman. Siguro at times, when we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, we tend to “sugarcoat” the things that we say.Sortakinda wthitelie lang kumbaga). They talk around a subject but they never say what they really want(hehe. Minsan kasi dyahe aminin yung totoong nararamdaman. Especially when you know that the other person doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Mag-beat around the bush nalang). They love material goods, are good in arranging a house and have good taste (nice…). It comes out in the feeling for colours and proportions. They love beautiful things, have an eye for quality; only want to buy the most expensive and best things (some things you go for quality and aesthetic value, but some things you just have to go with practicality). They also love physical beauty; a partner must be especially good looking and be a "somebody"(hehe… I plead guilty as charged. Partner has to be at least cute. Hehe.). Many Libras are mannequins. They love a quiet and pleasant life, can be artistic, often play piano or violin and love flower arrangements (Martha Stewart is that you?!)). They like to talk and negotiate, consider things, reconsider, exchange views/ideas. A Libra has difficulties in making decisions, must always weigh one's words, must always compare (tumpak!). They are always in company, can walk along with anybody, especially with those who are wealthy or who are "important"(Important: “Company” must be able to indulge in a voracious tirade of ideas. Social status is definitely NOT an issue. Basta non-sensical and provocative yung discussion… go ako! I hate boring people. But even worse are those that talk in circles. Yung walang pinatutunguhan usapan kasi paulit-ulit lang). But they also need time for themselves. Music is very important for Libra, they love it and it gives them energy and inner balance (just recently discovered the beauty of music and the serenity it offers. Book person kasi ako e). They also love beautiful soft colours (just as long as it’s purple, lilac, violet, periwinkle. hehe). They lack self-confidence, always need a pat on the back, always need to be encouraged and when that does not happen, they become uncertain and depressed (Define insecure!). They are never aggressive but can be quite negative (At pessimistic pa!). They need confirmation constantly. That uncertainty comes to the foreground especially if they have to make a decision. They can’t make decisions and can’t choose (Oo noh! Lalo na if ang choices ranges from the super cool strappy sandals that I so wanted and the platform shoes that matches my new top. Major shopping dilemma. Solution: Buy both! Always works! Never fails). They attach too much importance to material things, and therefore neglect the intellectual life (Gusto mo away! Ano daw?! Over my dead gorgeous body! Will never be an airhead!). It’s easy to flatter them (true. Mababw lang kaligayahan ko e); they can’t stand criticism, especially not from their friends (ouch!). Of all the signs Libra are the ones who can enjoy life the most. They are very pleasant people to get along with. They can sacrifice themselves to keep the peace and approach people with kindness (As I’ve said, great love are measured in great sacrifices). They don’t lack friends, are generally popular. They always looks well, are generally good looking, might have a dimple in the chin or in the cheeks (haba ng hair!). They are charming and quickly become the centre of attention in a group. They love flirting and showing themselves off (uhmm..dati siguro). They are very good in taking the initiative in a relationship (yep!). They love getting attention and are the life of a party. One of their big fears is not being accepted by others, it’s terrible for them when they are ignored (Super KSP talaga! Pero di nga, sometimes kaya I hesitate to make the first move to greet someone dahil sa fear of rejection). If they can hang around whilst visiting someone, then they are in their element. Libra uses their charms to reach their aim (Have yet to fully discover this awesome power!). They can make you fall in love with them to get what they want (Nyak!). They can also let others do things that they dare not do themselves (Charm and hypnotism?!? Hmmm….). Then they can make a helpless impression but in the meantime everything gets done (damsel-in-distress?). They never quarrel but will let a person know, in a sensitive way, that they are not happy.

In a profession, Libra need work in which they can be creative. A profession that has to do with acting (?!?-never in my wildest dreams!), which would suit them, or working with soft beautiful material(mananahi?). They can also have talent in the musical area (this definitely evaded me! can’t carry a tune.hehe). They are very suitable for work in which they can express their charms(that word again!). Such as hostess or host, T.V.- announcer, guide or receptionist in i.e. a hotel. Also for professions which have to do with appearances (whaaaaaaattt?!?), i.e. beauty care, plastic surgery, make-up artist, or the making of beautiful hairpieces, and of course also in professions in which they can mediate. They are very hospitable, and tend to spoil their guests. What they like the most is having dinner outside, be well dressed, show them off, to be served, preferably with a good-looking partner, and rather in a restaurant where you can meet important or well-known people (socialera!). They also love to go to openings. They feel themselves at ease everywhere (artistahin pa!). They love to flirt and being in love (Need I say more?). That is very important for Libra (Bow.).

The health of Libra
Libra's weakest spots are the eyes, the kidneys, and they can suffer from gout, cold on the bladder (?!?), kidney inflammation, migraine, and problems with blood circulation. Libra is sensitive for draught(huh?). Because of this they can easily get a throat or ear inflammation. If they get too tired Libra can get into trouble with intestinal/abdominal disorders (pakikonek nga po…pagod tsaka sakit sa tyan.). They can suffer from depression and can’t see the light of day from time to time (haha. guilty as charged). If they get love and attention, this can pass quickly (in short, KSP). Libra can suffer if there is no LOVE in their life (para namang sobrang desperado na ang dramang ito). Libra doesn’t give too much attention to food (ang sekreto sa pagpapapayat!); relationships and parties are more important (di naman masyado…slight lang). They must watch out for cosmetic remedies, this can cause skin problems. Lots of sleep and rest is a must. Libra needs the sun and especially contact with others. The sport which suits Libra the best is: dancing (no objections on this one) and figure skating (I used to dream of being a figure skater…feeling ko ako yung bida sa Ice Castles; but never did have the time to even don a pair of skates), at least if they can show discipline.

External characteristic:
Often a beautiful body, tall and slim. Generally dark hair and dark eyes, straight nose, an honest and open glance. Harmonious facial features. Dimple in the chin or cheeks. – Shocks! na-shy naman ako. Pero, straight nose? Nah! At least, 9/10 ako. =) …’chos!

Professions:
Violist (?!?), hairdresser, jeweller, diplomat, actor (?@#!?), receptionist, auctioneer, appraiser, hostess, make-up artist, TV announcer, photographic model(ano daw?!?), plastic surgeon, artist, guide, lawyer, judge. Employment agency, marriage bureau, beauty specialist, ballet dancer. Salesman of luxuriously articles or home furnishing. Professions where beauty (ows?!?)and contractual qualities play a role.

Love life:
It is not easy for Libra to live alone, they need somebody else to feel happy, need a lot of attention and compliments, want to be desired most of the time and to be attached and adored (painstakingly true!matulog nga lang mag-isa di ko carry…dati. huhuhu)Libra will find another lover if there is a quarrel and disharmony or when the attention to the relationship diminishes (I beg to differ ha.). Libra has the inclination to spoil the loved one (super spoiled...as in! Talk about generosity). They love to have a partner who is wealthy, because they need much for themselves, loves luxury, beautiful things, nice and expensive food and especially beautiful clothes(ano ito!gold-digger ang drama? “Loves beautiful clothes”-dito lang tumama eh! ). Libra are condescending, even-tempered, elusive, need harmonious relationships, are attentive in love(oh so true), but not always faithful(oist! Soooo not true! Forever faithful ako!).


Suitable life partner: Gemini and Aquarius.


colour: bright green(eeek!), pink, purple (at talagang isiningit ito)
stone: jade, emerald, turquoise, adventuring (?!@#???!)
fauna: deer, nightingale, dove, lizard, snake
flora: wild berry, violet, lily of the valley, white lilac, lilies(ang galing! Lilies are my absolute fave flowers!)
country: Austria, Egypt
metal: copper
lucky#: 6 and 9
day: Friday
sport: surfing
tarot card: justice
planet: Venus(at magmaganda daw talaga.hehe)

Sunday, June 10, 2007

"As we grow older, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast...you'll realize you can no longer hold onto the past yet you can't feel ever living in the present and you see the future slowly slipping away. Inevitably, you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much til your tummy hurts, sing to your heart's content, dance like nobody's watching, live each moment like there's no tomorrow and LOVE like you've never been hurt before. Because every sixty seconds you spend upset and aggravated, is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
But for those of us who are only momentarily "drifting", find solace in the arms of faith, take comfort in the wings of hope and feel empowered in the prospect of a greater love."

Untitled

Not just my princess, you're my angel
And i could stare through your eyes forever
So i wish to wake up beside you in every sunrise
And if it won't be now help me find a way somehow

I'll wait for you, i'll die without you
I'll be by your side through space and tides much longer than time

You're the riddle's answer
The last piece of the puzzle
So i wish to walk with you along the sunset-lit shore
And if it won't be now help me find a way somehow

I'll wait for you, i'll die without you
I'll be by your side through space and tides much longer than time
Please hold on, don't leave me, don't give up on me, let me be everything that you ask of me,
It will never be perfect, it may not be smooth, but i promise you i'll make things right for us soon

They wove the threads


Made them into ropes
And from opposite poles
We got to tie them both
Then they lit a match
Burned what was tied
We blew the flame
But it didn't die

So i'll, i'll wait for you,i'll die without you


I'll be by your side through space and tides much longer than time
You're the one...




I adore you...



You are my bliss.









By: Greyhoundz

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

RAMBLINGS OF A BROKEN HEART

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
~anais nin~


IF ONLY….
==>you<==

If only I paid more attention when she was telling me how much she loved me.
If only I told her how much I really appreciated all her efforts in orchestrating every monthsary, anniversary, birthday or even the “just-because” surprises she lovingly spoiled me.
If only I valued all the times we spent together and not waste any second of it fighting over the silliest things.
If only I didn’t complain so much about her annoying fetishes and just let her be.
If only I showered her with more attention during those times that she badly needed me.
If only I enjoyed to the fullest every date she took me out to, every movie we watched, and every resto we dined in.
If only I relished every sweet kiss, every loving touch, every comforting embrace.
If only I melted in every meaningful stare.
If only I savored every softly-whispered “I love you” and the million times she said “I miss you”.
If only I lingered in the pure bliss of her ecstasy.
If only…
...YOU were still mine.

IF I COULD ONLY…
==>me<==


If I could only hear another sweet I love you.
Celebrate another monthsary… one more anniversary…with you...
And begin to count our years together...once again.

If I could only feel your mesmerizing gaze that melts my heart and weakens my will...
Or sense your lingering touches…
Taste your soft, passionate kisses…
And be in your loving presence...once again.

If I could only hear you sing another song that caresses my heart and touches my soul...
As your fingers strum each chord with dedicated purpose…
Your voice resonating in my head and through my very core…

If I could only stop the world from spinning… revisit the past and rewrite each bittersweet memory of our love into an unending fairy tale.
If only I could turn back time and re-live all those happy moments we shared together.
If only I could....
…STAY.


-30-

Sunday, May 27, 2007

BROKEN PURPLE



Feelings fade, people change.
Nothing remains unchanged - even the strongest of feelings.
Love is naught unless you fight ‘til the bitter end.
Faced with the crossroad that is your own -
Go down the wire and through the fire… burdened by the cross of betrayal
Or breakfree from the chains of misery and set your love free…
Unbound your heart, release your soul, watch him fly…
Hold no longer. Let go.

Pain begets hope.
Hope to find light at the end of your darkest day.
Life is a journey.
Live life lest you wither into nothingness…
Stay.

The choice is no one but ours to make…No one but ours to face.
Be strong.
Take heed.
Make a stand.
Have faith.
Believe.
And LOVE…once again.
-30-

Friday, May 25, 2007

INSATIABLE

I remember my Prof in Psych saying that a man's wants and desires are endless. Our list of what "I want to buy", "what I want to have", "what I want to achieve", "what I want to become" or just simply "what i want" can go on forever.

When I was in elementary I couldn't wait to get to high school and be able to enjoy the so-called "highschool life". In highschool, I counted the days when I can pack my bags and live the life of independence that college has to offer. In college, I wanted to be everything... CEAT's college scholar (I only made it to honor roll), everybody's friend (BS Org nga ako e), a power-dancer (at least I tried to be & made it to the CORE group that became SOP champs), the best organizer and orchestrator of all the activities of the UPLB SJazz clan (the mind behind it all), and last but certainly not the least I did my best to be the perfect gf.

I did everything in my power to get everything that I wanted. After college, I thought I had it all...a perfect job, a perfectly planned future, a perfect partner who means the world to me and loves me unconditionally, a perfect life. Or so I thought.

Why's it that when we earn just enough to survive, we aim for a more lucrative job. After landing that dream job, we seek for other employment opportunities that offer better benefits. After getting all the benefits anyone can ask for, we still try to scout for a more challenging post. What is there left to take?

When we have fairly enough money to buy anything we want, we want more money to buy all the other things that we think we want. And even after getting all those things, we still find ourselves looking for extra jobs, accepting loads & loads of overtime, channeling our business skills to look for other sources of income. And for what? To get the newest Nokia cellphone (whose value depreciates faster than you can blink), to buy a new pair of Manolo Blahnik's or Jimmy Choo's that you've been eyeing for months, or so you can afford another getaway trip to Bora? Then, what's next in your unending wish list?

When we were single we secretly prayed for our prince charming to come and carry us off to our happy-ever-after. We prepare ourselves for that one person, so that when our one great love comes, we can offer ourselves whole..not wanting anything else...not desiring anything more... not looking for what is not there. We enjoy the bliss of love, togetherness & loyalty. We do all things as one. We are bounded by this inexplicable feeling that drives us to be the best possible person we can be for our partner. We plan to spend our lives together... forevermore. But for some reason, when we are already in a secured, stable and loving relationship, we tend to think of all the "what ifs" and "what could have been". We long for the "magic" that has been lost in the essence of fondness and familiarity. We envision that love should last for a lifetime. And when we don't "feel" the love that we used to know, is it reason enough to say that you have fallen out of love? That somehow, love has been lost in the many years that you have been together. It was inevitably consumed... prodding you on to begin another search of that lost feeling... to find love once again.

Do we then just turn our backs to our one great love? How sure are we that what's out there is what(who) we want? What if the very person you're trying so hard to look for, is already the very same person standing right in front of you? Is it worth giving up your forever for?

And if you decide to take the jump...take the risk...How do you then say goodbye to the person you promised forever to?


Monday, May 14, 2007

HAPPINESS 101

HAPPINESS. Lately, I have been puzzled by this word - as to what exactly is its meaning. How can you define the feeling of being happy? Is it something that you experience on your own or do you need an external force to be familiar with it? Is it a lasting feeling or just a fleeting emotion? Is it exactly the way we understand it…a feeling, an abstract emotion, a vague quantification of a state of mind? So I did a little research. Here’s what I found from a very reliable source…the mother of all linguists and etymologists, Merriam-Webster. HAPPINESS is:

Pronunciation: 'ha-pE-n&s

Function: noun
Definition: 1 a feeling or state of well-being and contentment
2 a:
JOY b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience
3 the feeling experienced when one's wishes are met -- see
PLEASURE

Synonyms blessedness, bliss, blissfulness, felicity, gladness, joy

Related Words elatedness, elation, exhilaration, exultation, intoxication; ecstasy, euphoria, heaven, rapture, rapturousness; delectation, delight, enjoyment, pleasure; cheer, cheerfulness, exuberance, gaiety (also gayety), gladsomeness, glee, gleefulness, jollity, joyfulness, joyousness, jubilation, lightheartedness; content, contentedness, gratification, satisfaction
Near Antonyms anguish, desolation, joylessness, sorrow, woe, woefulness; blues, dejection, depression, despondency, disheartenment, dispiritedness, doldrums, downheartedness, gloom, gloominess, melancholy, mournfulness
Antonyms misery, sadness, unhappiness, wretchedness

I have previously claimed that finding happiness is ones prerogative. It’s your choice. But, come to think of it, can you really will yourself to be happy? After losing a very important person in my life, I have come to value things that I have long taken for granted. I kept thinking about those “happy moments”… If only I relished every sweet kiss, every loving touch, every comforting embrace. If only I melted in every meaningful stare. If only I savored every sweet“I love you” and every lovingly uttered “I miss you”. If only I wallowed in the pure bliss of his ecstasy. If only I could turn back time and re-live all those happy moments we had together. If only…


Is happiness relative?

Is it relative to a person who makes you smile, tickles your funny bones, touches your heart and gives you that tingling feeling down your spine? Is it relative to a satisfying job or a fulfilling career that boosts your ego and makes you feel all-powerful? Is it relative to a devoted husband, a loving wife or the perfect children? Is it relative to all the grandiose material possessions that you’re able to obtain throughout your lifetime?


Is happiness quantifiable?

Let’s see if we can come up with a scale to measure happiness. When can we say that we’re truly happy? Is it possible to develop a “happiness gauge” so you can keep tabs on how happy you really are during a particular moment?


How Long Will It Last?
Can we really believe in forevermore? Is there such a thing called “happy-ever-after”? Or are all forms of happiness tend to be momentary?



Factors that Contribute to Ones Happiness:

  1. Active and committed presence of the “one great love”
  2. Sense of belongingness to a family (not broken or dysfunctional in any way)
  3. A supportive barkada who loves to reiterate to you, lest you forget, the definition of FUN (di pede ang KJ…feeling high school pa din)
  4. A greatly-fulfilling career and a high-paying job that enables you to buy everything you need and more.
  5. Money… money… and lotsa’ lotsa’ money… pero sabi nga nila diba, money can buy you all the things you want but not everything you need (i.e. love, time, etc). Hence, erase…erase…erase!
  6. The prospect of a “new” love… the kilig factor… the eagerness to unveil the mystery behind the unfamiliarity… the tingling excitement of finding something new, uncovering the real person inside… the magical first kiss…

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Ode to -beinte otso-

The past 1361 days… a little over 45 months… have undoubtedly become the very best days of my life. Everything has changed since that fateful day when fate brought us together… our goals, our priorities, our perceptions in life, our friends and families… everything has come and gone except YOU. You were the one “constant” that helped me get through the good, the bad, the happy and sad moments of my life. Whenever I’m down, you were always there to pick me up, prodding me onwards to try again. You never gave up on me no matter what. You were the reason why I became the stronger and much wiser person that I am now. You were also the only one who cares and loves me enough to go the extra mile just to see me smile. For the past 3 years, you were my only source of pleasure and sheer bliss. You made life so worth living and you were the main reason why I have the will to wake up each passing day. Ultimately, you have given me the one thing that I have been longing for since the first time I have learned to love… security. You taught me how to trust again…to have faith in other people but most especially to have faith in myself. Your seemingly endless love for me has sown my heart together from disparity and heartbreak and made me whole. Since then, I have loved you like I never thought I could ever love someone else. I devoted my life to you and I gave you all of me.

But now we are faced with, by far, the hardest and most emotionally-consuming obstacle in our lives together. It shattered my heart and drained my very core. We never talked about breaking-up because you never wanted to hear even a word of it. Maybe because it was never an option – up until now. But the one thing that stuck to me that I remembered you saying was that if you were ever to face an inconceivable break-up… you will never give up easily on us and that you will fight for me to the end.

This is what I’m trying to do now. Please don’t hate me for doing this. I am not trying to make you miserable. It’s just that I feel it in my heart that I have to do this. I want to do this. Because I love you far more than you can ever imagine. I feel like this is the right thing to do… just like what happened last night… you holding me in your arms…it felt so right… that it’s where I belong. I’m not going to give up just like that. The war is not yet lost. Please let me know if I stand a chance… Please let me know if you want me to fight for you… for us. We are so good together. I know this will be hard but please stick with me.

I don’t want to look back to this day and regret why I did not even TRY to fight for you. Please give “US” a fighting chance. Don’t you think that we deserve one more shot? Honey, please… won’t you stay in the room with me? Let’s give “happy-ever-after” one more chance.






______________________________________________________________

LET'S STAY TOGETHER

I'm so in love with you
Whatever you wanna do
Is alright with me
You make me feel so brand new(It's you that always makes me feel brand new)
I want to spend my whole life with you(I just wanna spend my life with you)
Let me say that since, since we've been together
Loving you forever is what I need
Let me be the one you come running to(Let me be the one that you run to)
I'll never be untrue(I will never be untrue to you)
Oh baby let's stay together(Let's stay together)
Let's stay together(Let's stay together)
Loving you forever(Let's stay together)
Times are good or bad, happy or sad(Good, bad, happy or sad)
Ooh, tell me why can't we stay together(Good, bad, happy or sad)
Why, why do people break up
Turn around and make up


And I just can't see
You'd never do that to me(you would never do that to me)
Being around you is what I see(Being around you that is what I see)
Baby baby let's, let's stay together(Let's stay together)Loving you whether(Let's stay together)

Simple Realizations



  1. You don’t need anyone to complete you.

  2. Love yourself first and foremost. Be sure not to lose track of that when you share your love to someone else.

  3. Being single is fun! No worries, no restrictions, no objections!

  4. It’s not so bad to live by the moment… not to relive the past and think so much about the future.

  5. Choose your friends well… you’ll never really know who your true friends are until such time that you need them most… whoever sticks around and walks through the fire with you… is a rare gem… never to be lost… always to be treasured.

  6. Grief and sorrow are there to make you strong. Don’t lurk away from the hardships of life or escape the burning agony of living… take a stand… make a resolve… will yourself to move on. There’s more to life than you expect.

  7. Welcome the changes in your life like a child eagerly anticipating the presents on Christmas morn. You’ll never know what you’re gonna get ‘til you rip open the fancy wrappings, reach inside the box & pull out the well-thought-of surprise. More often than not, it’s not what we wished for… but oftentimes, it’s just what we need… we just haven’t realized it yet.

  8. When you feel like everything and everyone has turned their backs on you… when you feel the urge to break free and make your silent escape… stop for a while… look around… amongst the clutter in the world, you’ll find another soul suffering the same pain, enduring the same trials, feeling the same soul-wrenching grief… making you realize that in fact, you are not alone.
  9. If your great love failed you... pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and be ready to try again. Do not use your heartache as an excuse to shun the next great person who comes along... you'll never know if destiny's already knocking at your door. Be forever grateful for the happy moments, the broken heart and the lessons learned from your one great love.
  10. Happiness is a prerogative.